This is a field report on some persuasion tactics that I had the opportunity to use whilst on a trip in Blackpool. It will give you several tools to manage conversations.
Getting Fed Using Hypnotic Persuasion Tactics – A Field Report
In this report you will discover how I used hypnotic conversation management techniques, developed rapport verbally and non verbally, elicited and fed back values as well as used the principle of reciprocation to create a fantastic result. Just as importantly I will show you how important state management is and how I fell foul of not paying attention to it.
Setting the Scene
I was in Blackpool on a bank holiday Monday ready to start a two day training event the next day. I had been driving for five hours, it was early evening and I was hungry. My plan for the evening was to find a nice restaurant, have a quiet meal on my own, do some people watching and mull over a few new ideas I had whilst driving that I might introduce into the plan for the next day.
I found a quite Indian restaurant that seemed really nice. I walked in, noticed a great table at one end of the room where I would be able to unobtrusively observe the other diners, so I asked for that table and got myself nicely settled in.
Before I had even ordered a drink a couple of guys had come into the restaurant and were shown to the table right next to me. This really annoyed me because the restaurant was less than half full and they could have seated these guys anywhere. Instead they sat them so close that I felt I was sitting on their table.
Using the Voices in Your Head
My initial thought was to ask for another table but then that little voice in my head started. Not the one that is judgemental or immensely self critical, but the one that when you listen very quietly tells you things that you really want to know. This little voice in me was suggesting that I walk my talk, take a risk, have fun and just see where you can take this situation. I am sure you recognise when you hear that voice your best approach is to let go of the fear, let go of any self doubt and just get on with having fun with the experience.
I looked up, went into peripheral vision as I described in previous posts and just watched and listened to the two guys. They too were acting a little self consciously because I was sat so close and seemed to be desperate to get a conversation going between them so they could ignore the fact that they seemed to have a total stranger almost sat on their table.
The guy sat diagonally opposite to me, John, started telling Martin, his companion how much he liked this restaurant just as the waiter came over to take their drinks order. I noticed a slight nod and raise of the eyebrows that John used to greet the waiter and they seemed to have good rapport. I took this as his unconscious hello.
Once the waiter had gone I took the opportunity to get into their conversation. I looked over to John, made eye contact, used exactly the same unconscious hello as he had used with the waiter and said something like, “Since we seem to be on the same table, can I ask what makes a restaurant really good for you?”
Feeding Back Values
I think we both felt the huge amount of rapport that kicked in just at that moment and John just started giving me his values about eating out. He told me he liked restaurants that were AUTHENTIC and had a good ATMOSPHERE. I immediately fed these values back to him saying something like I like AUTHENTIC Indian restaurants because it was like home cooking to me and that being Indian I add to the AUTHENTIC ATMOSPHERE of Indian restaurants by eating in them.
John laughed and you would be amazed at the amount of rapport we had at that moment. John launched into a whole thing about the eating places in Blackpool as if he were talking to an old friend. At this point I started to recognise that his friend was starting to look very uncomfortable. I put this down to a total stranger intruding into his conversation and having more rapport with his companion than he had.
I paused John, introduced myself to both of them, got their names and then focused on talking to Martin. As best I remember I led the conversation to asking Martin what was important to him about dining out with his friends. His answers included GOOD FOOD and GOOD CHAT. With both those phrases there was a slight but obvious small smile that started. I now had Marin’s unconscious like signals and a couple of his values about eating out.
Putting on the same small smile I suggested that this restaurant has GOOD FOOD because John has already told us that. I followed it up with what can we talk about that would be a GOOD CHAT to have with the GOOD FOOD we are just about to have. I now had massive amounts of rapport with both of them.
Deconstructing the Action So Far
Let’s pause the conversation just here and backtrack through what has just happened. I was using a conversation management model to control the conversation to exactly where I wanted it to go. I started at breaking the ice and moving into small talk to build rapport. I helped the situation along using John and Martin’s unconscious hellos. I then elicited their values through specific questions. The words I capitalized were the values they answered with and I recognised them because these were the words they emphasised. I then fed them back heightening the sense of rapport.The process of using unconscious hellos and feeding back values is fully explained in the Advanced Persuasion Patterns Course.
This whole thing took less than five minutes and all of a sudden I had massive amounts of rapport. Within minutes we were in deep conversations and both John and Martin were telling me close and personal details of their lives.
Anticipation Frames – Coming Soon
In the next part of this field report we will look at how to conversationally use a time scramble to spread that rapport across time and how I accidentally set the conditions for them to pay for my meal.
All of these patterns are fully detailed in the Advanced Persuasions Patterns Download Course.
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