I am writing this at the end of November and the whole of this article has been provoked by a telephone call I have just taken. I have just spent ten minutes trying to calm down a friend who is already stressing about their New Year Resolutions. It still over 30 days before he needs to start and he already believes he will fail.
The way we are traditionally taught to set goals cause problems and it sets you up to fail. Click to tweet
Beliefs – The Framework of Success
The way we are traditionally taught to set goals cause problems and it sets you up to fail. There are two key areas that are not usually looked at in traditional goal setting systems.
What you believe about yourself and the world around you will determine your level of success. This is not as simple as just believing in yourself or your ability to do things. Consider a person that has genuine self-esteem and confidence but has a belief that money is the route of all evil. This sort of person may never become rich even though in all other endeavours that might be very successful.
Negative Emotions – How to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory
A typical goal setting problem I see often is where are people emotionally attached to their goals. I know that traditional goal setting tells you this is a good thing…but consider the problems this causes.
Have ever seen people so invested in the result that they don’t behave normally?
A sales person so desperate for the sale that they drive customers away with aggressive behaviour.
A football team playing defensively when they are just in the lead and as a result the opposition score.
People getting more and more stressed the closer they get to their goal.
The problem that is happening is the closer they get to the goal the more anxious they get about ‘not failing’, their behaviour changes and they draw that failure to themselves.
NLP Flow States, Being in the Zone and Setting Goals
You might know or experience flow states and being in the zone. This is when we are at our peak of performance, completely uncluttered from the past and so confident in the future that all we do is focus on the present. Now, imagine setting goals in such a way that you are uncluttered with baggage from the past and so confident in the results that you need never think about it again. This is how I think goals should feel when you look at them.
NLP BreakThrough Coaching Process
The NLP Practitioners amongst you will have a system for the elements that we discussed above. But how would it be if you could be coached through a process that would allow you to delete any negative emotions, let go of limiting beliefs and put in place empowering thoughts that just attract the results you want…and the whole process only takes three or four hours to complete? Have a look at the Accelerated Success NLP BreakThrough CoachingProcess.