On Wednesday in less than thirty minutes I managed to accidentally cause a young woman to become hopelessly infatuated with me to the point where she would not leave me alone.
Instant Rapport using NLP Persuasion Techniques
Here is the story of how that happened and how you can protect yourself from having the same thing happen to you.
Fire and Forget Persuasion Techniques
On Wednesday I left the office a little early so I could sit in my favourite coffee shop to do some reading. One of my big things is developing what I call fire and forget systems. I work very hard at ingraining skills to a level where I don’t have to consciously focus on them.
Think about walking, opening doors or driving. At some point you invested energy in learning these skills so now you don’t have to think about them you just do them automatically and only focus on them in particular situations. One of the biggest things I want people to do is practice a whole load of skills in new ways with new distinctions and perspectives. THis will mean you get to develop flexibility in the way that you use your skills.
Instantaneous Connections and Unconscious Hellos
As I was sat in the coffee shop studying I became aware of a rather pretty young woman sat at the next table reading a book. You know how sometimes you get that insatiable urge just to play a little to see what happens? Well in the moment I was in my scruffy, dishevelled pot-bellied absent minded professor mode. My thought went “I wonder if I could run a linguistic connection pattern with some sort of visualisation and without anything else and get this woman to speak with me?”
So I just leaned over and said, “Where have we met!” Note this was not stated as a question and I said it with completely conviction. She looked up and was obviously startled and I just quickly went into a stumbling instantaneous connection pattern that was half remembered from my early days of practising patterns and half remembered from courses that I had done in the past. It was not my finest delivery.
How to Make a Bad Situation Worse
As I rambled on about “making connections”, “thinking that you know someone” and other dimly remembered connection patterns I managed to take her through my sequence for rapport building and taking covert control of a conversation. This involved a sequence that she might go through if she were suddenly meeting an old long lost friend. The process is full written up in The Persuasion Skills Black Book on pages 62 through 64
From a strategic perspective I completely disrupted her with a pattern interrupt and redirected her thoughts with a huge presuppositional question. She went into trance searching for memories of me because I told her that we knew each other. I spoke to her of emotional connections and then took her through a sequence that she might go through when meeting a long lost friend. I attached all those feelings to me. And all the while I had a bunch of visualisations running that, if nothing else, had some impact on my nonverbal behaviour. From my perspective I was just thinking I should have practised or at least mentally rehearsed before plunging into this.
After about five minutes she had moved onto my table, decided that we were fated to meet and was busily telling me a lot of very personal stuff. This caught me totally unprepared. I’ve been out of the whole hypnoflirting game for years. I am a little rusty and these days quite happy to settle for curling up in bed with Agatha Christie and a good cup of coco. When I was on top of this sort of game I could generate these reactions easily but these days it would take me considerably more time and effort. It certainly wasn’t going to happen by accident.
Just when you thought it couldn’t get worse
After awhile I was starting to get a little uncomfortable with the whole thing. Whilst she was very pretty she really wasn’t my type, it was only supposed to be an exercise in conversations and it had got very deep really quickly. Ultimately I was more interested in getting back to my study. It was here that I made an even bigger mistake.
Fractionating Rapport Patterns
Like I said I am a little rusty at this game so I hadn’t thought through the implications of what I was doing. I sharply withdrew my attention from her and told her I needed to go back to my studies. Imagine how you would feel if you have just spent five or ten minutes with someone that you have an incredible connection with and they suddenly withdrew it. I mean cut it off completely. Most people would be desperate to re-establish that connection, particularly if it was withdrawn very suddenly. I had run a scarcity pattern on her that means she is more hooked than ever.
The next thing I know she is demanding my attention and I look up to speak to her. That’s when all my normal rapport processes, the one that just automatically happen because I have trained myself to be that way just kick in. The net result is that she has even deeper rapport with me than we had originally started with. Not only that but I have now accidentally but very strongly fixed myself in the position of a rapport leader.
A fractionating rapport pattern is like your body getting familiar with reoccurring states. Each time you go back to a particular state you get there faster and deeper. As you think this through you know it is true. Consider when you make a new friend. The next time you meet them you don’t have to go through the initial stages of rapport again, you just leap in where you left off. The net result is you automatically feel like you know them better. Do that a few times and they start to feel like you have known them forever.
You can fractionate rapport with someone very quickly and apparently completely by accident. All of a sudden she was suggesting that we return to her place immediately. I had to spend most of the evening getting her to a better and more balanced perspective of me.
How to Make Sure this Doesn’t Happen to You
If you spend thirty seven minutes or so searching though my articles you will find articles explaining the patterns I talk about. If you want to develop some of these patterns so they are completely automatic then the Advanced Persuasion Patterns programme is a good investment for you.