My last article provoked quite a few responses. Here is one email that got me really angry. I got angry because there is a preframe…no a lie that a certain groups want you to have about hypnotic persuasion.
Do You have the Right to Live Your Life Free from Prejudgement, Defend Yourself from Bullies, Bigots and Those That Would Do you Harm? Do You Have the Right to be Powerful and Live to Your Potential However You Choose to Manifest It?
And if you were to accept their view you are in danger of disempowering yourself completely. This article is about how you can use your skills ethically and not be a pushover.
Is NLP Ethical?
Here is Joan’s email:
Sent: Wed, January 26, 7:03:34 PM
Subject: Re: Why Are You So Passionate About Hypnotic Persuasion Skills?
I just purchased your Black Book. I just started to go through it, but I can see that you are a master of NLP and hypnosis skills. I have to really apply myself now so I can make my teacher proud.
The reason why I’m writing to you is your post, ‘Why Are You So Passionate About Hypnotic Skills?’ really struck a deep chord within me. You see, I was born in England (have been in the US since I was about 7 or 8 ) but clearly remember being bullied by racist White kids. I was a little girl- about 5or 6- and these teens would always threaten and scare me. Never actually hurt me, though, thank god, but it was terrifying nonetheless. To his credit, my dad put the fear of God into those evil kids.
Then, when I came to America, I thought the bullying would stop as I attended a Black school. Little did I know that being bi-racial (Black/ White) made me another easy target. My beautiful sister was also bullied for being too ‘dark’, as I was bullied for being too ‘light’. It’s truly sad and ridiculous how racist and ignorant people of all races can be…..
Then in corporate America, I encounter- MORE bullies (all races, both genders). I naively though bullying was only in the schoolyard, but sadly, over the years, I have come to realize it is rampant in the workplace. My last job was particularly difficult, as I was bullied by a nasty male manager. He made the lives of many of the people in the department extremely difficult. I often felt frustrated, wondering how I could turn things around. I wished I had NLP and hypnosis skills, and I wanted to buy and master Black Book Persuasion but….
…I had been struggling with inner conflicts over whether I should learn NLP- because it can be dark, manipulative, etc. – should I even learn it? Is it even ethical? What if I am tempted to use it to really tear someone down? But as I read your e-mail I started to feel these inner conflicts dissolved. My doubts were gone. I felt like such a burden had been lifted.
Turns out that getting laid off was a good thing because now I have the time to focus on learning these skills so I can nail the next interview and tame the next bully. After I get that next, higher paying job, I aim to join you for a training in the U.K. You are doing such great work, Rintu.
Best Regards and Enormous Thanks,
All Communication is Manipulative
The issue is not about manipulation but one of intent. A tool is just a tool and can be used in good or harmful ways.
Here is an article from Dr Tom that is in The Persuasion Skills Black Book and how he manipulated his daughter into having higher self-esteem. NLP doesn’t get better than this.
The reason Joan is feeling better is that she is finding out that she has options and that the power to change the situation is with her. That doesn’t mean she has to hurt any of these people…although I suspect some of them would have no compunction about hurting her. Imagine how she would be feeling if she had decided not to learn these skills, if she had let herself be a victim and sat being powerless in these situations. This is why I get angry with the BS some people come out with about NLP being manipulative.
Do You Want to Succeed?
- When you go out on a date do you dress up?
- If you go for a job interview would you prepare, learn something about the company and role?
- If you want someone to take your point of view do you build common understanding and move people to the benefits of your point of view?
- Are any of these things manipulative? Are you being unethical for doing any of this?
- If you were being attacked or abused should you only use half your skills, just in case it wasn’t a fair fight?
When you develop these skills to a high level you may prefer building rapport and relationships and converting those bullies into people that will help and support you (whether that is their intention or not). The only time I will get angry with you is if you choose not to use your skills because of woolly minded thinking that disempowers you.
Make no bones about it the Advanced Persuasion Patterns Programme is a practical programme about developing high level hypnotic persuasion skills quickly. In this article you can see how Thomas, by lesson three is using multi-layered hypnotic metaphor and charisma patterns to get his audience on his side and the astounding results he got from it.
I am so pleased that Joan has not succumbed to this sort of idiocy and is starting to grow into her own power. My original article gave you some insight as to why I do what I do. It would give me no end of pleasure to see Joan develop her skills and succeed in exactly the way she has described. As such it is probably no surprise to anyone that I am giving Joan a free copy of the Advanced Persuasion Patterns Programme.
For you the thoughts I would like to leave you with are about coming into your power. Do you want the skills that can help you to stop the bullies and bigots taking control of your life or the lives of the people you care about? Do you want the skills to motivate yourself and others to take action and succeed? If you want these things then put down useless and woolly minded BS and just have a look at the Advanced Persuasion Patterns Programme by clicking through this link.