I was reminded just recently about how deep and powerfully you can build rapport naturally. This is a really good demonstration of how you can pace and lead someone without them ever realising.
To round this off there are six points that are worth considering when rapport building in a persuasion context.
The other day I had been out for a walk and was just coming back into the building when I bumped into Mary. I have known Mary for a long time and we normally have quite good rapport, always saying hello, stopping for a chat and having a general laugh with each other.
On this particular day my head was full of all sorts of things and I was distracted. An internal trance if you like, where I wasn’t particularly focused on what was happening around me. Sort of like a daydream state. Mary was stood in front of the lift with a couple of big boxes in her hands.
As we waited for the lift Mary opened the conversation and I was replying in a distracted way. The first I knew that I was matching Mary’s body language was when she placed the two large boxes in my hands and started thanking me for taking them up to the top floor for her.
It was then that I woke from my rapport trance and realise that I had a complete conversation without remembering any of it, as well as somehow managing to offer to take these boxes for Mary. Now take this the right way I would have been happy to help if Mary had asked. The issue is I had no recollection of what had happened from when I walked into the building to when Mary give me the boxes.
To the best of my knowledge Mary has not done any NLP training and knows nothing about rapport on this level. She just does it naturally.
When I asked what we had just talked about Mary looked at me a little confused and told me she had said hello and we were both grumbling about the weather. When I asked about the boxes she said I’d put my arms out and she just knew that I was offering to take them up to the top floor. This was a very powerful pace and lead. She got me to put my arms out. Put the boxes into my hand and presupposed I would take them for her.
If rapport is naturally occurring why do we in persuasion skills and NLP circles focus on it so much?
The reality is that this level of rapport doesn’t often happen except with a few select people and in occasional circumstances. What would your life be like if you could have this level of rapport with anyone you choose, whenever you choose?
Here are some of the things you might want to consider about how to get rapport and use it at a persuasion skill.
The truth of the matter is that it is easy to build this level of rapport. All you need to recognise is that rapport is a process not a thing. Once you can deconstruct rapport into a step-by-step process all you have to do is go through the process with anyone that you meet. In the Advanced Persuasion Patterns program we will discuss several different approaches to rapport and how you can develop a process that works for you to create instantaneous deep levels of rapport. Of course we discuss much more than just rapport on the comprehensive course on hypnotic persuasion skills.
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Tags: Hypnosis, Persuasion