Comments on: Building Rapport – NLP Essential Skills http://www.thenlpcompany.com/techniques/building-rapport-%e2%80%93-nlp-essential-skills/ Free NLP Techniques, Persuasion Techniques, Conversational Hypnosis Sat, 13 Mar 2010 16:39:29 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.1 By: Rintu Basu http://www.thenlpcompany.com/techniques/building-rapport-%e2%80%93-nlp-essential-skills/#comment-1329 Rintu Basu Fri, 15 Aug 2008 10:31:07 +0000 http://www.thenlpcompany.com/techniques/building-rapport-%e2%80%93-nlp-essential-skills/#comment-1329 Hi Greg, Thanks for your comment. I agree with everything that you have said. If your intent and focus is right then matching and mirroring technqiues will help (although there are approaches that are much more powerful). But if you have some sort of baggage around the person you are building rapport with then you will find matching and mirroring doesn't always work. Closing sales is usually going to be easier in rapport and in most cases your idea is exactly right, have rapport before you close. Although I will add that in some cases having to much rapport is not the most useful thing. For example when handling objections it is important that you lead your prospect from their current thinking to a way of thinking that supports them buying the product (assuming this is the best choice for them). My intention would be to use techniques that were about getting them to build rapport with me and moving to my mind set rather than me building rapport with them. The distinction is a fine one, but by taking the lead and getting them to build rapport what happens is you will be leading them from their old thinking to your new way...and not the other way round. Cheers Rintu Hi Greg,
Thanks for your comment. I agree with everything that you have said. If your intent and focus is right then matching and mirroring technqiues will help (although there are approaches that are much more powerful). But if you have some sort of baggage around the person you are building rapport with then you will find matching and mirroring doesn’t always work.
Closing sales is usually going to be easier in rapport and in most cases your idea is exactly right, have rapport before you close.
Although I will add that in some cases having to much rapport is not the most useful thing. For example when handling objections it is important that you lead your prospect from their current thinking to a way of thinking that supports them buying the product (assuming this is the best choice for them). My intention would be to use techniques that were about getting them to build rapport with me and moving to my mind set rather than me building rapport with them. The distinction is a fine one, but by taking the lead and getting them to build rapport what happens is you will be leading them from their old thinking to your new way…and not the other way round.
Cheers

Rintu

]]> By: Greg Woodley http://www.thenlpcompany.com/techniques/building-rapport-%e2%80%93-nlp-essential-skills/#comment-1328 Greg Woodley Fri, 15 Aug 2008 03:57:17 +0000 http://www.thenlpcompany.com/techniques/building-rapport-%e2%80%93-nlp-essential-skills/#comment-1328 Hi, interesting discussion about Rapport. I've used it in sales for 25 years (about 12 years of which after I found out what it was at an NLP course). I have used matching and mirroring to help set up rapport but behind that was always my motive of helping the customer, maybe that helped a lot. I think it's quite important not to try and close a sale while you are out of rapport with the client Greg Hi,
interesting discussion about Rapport. I’ve used it in sales for 25 years (about 12 years of which after I found out what it was at an NLP course). I have used matching and mirroring to help set up rapport but behind that was always my motive of helping the customer, maybe that helped a lot.
I think it’s quite important not to try and close a sale while you are out of rapport with the client
Greg

]]> By: Rintu Basu http://www.thenlpcompany.com/techniques/building-rapport-%e2%80%93-nlp-essential-skills/#comment-880 Rintu Basu Wed, 25 Jun 2008 12:57:32 +0000 http://www.thenlpcompany.com/techniques/building-rapport-%e2%80%93-nlp-essential-skills/#comment-880 Hi Michael, Thanks for the comments. It is nice to know that there are others that have noticed this big misconception about rapport. You have also hit on another area that there is not enough said about on particularl courses and that is about leading. Pacing a current situation and leading to where you want to go is what this is all about...therefore as you say matching someone is nowhere near enough. I had a look at your website, lots of great content. I will spend some time looking through it. Thanks for taking the time to make contact. Rintu Hi Michael,
Thanks for the comments. It is nice to know that there are others that have noticed this big misconception about rapport.
You have also hit on another area that there is not enough said about on particularl courses and that is about leading. Pacing a current situation and leading to where you want to go is what this is all about…therefore as you say matching someone is nowhere near enough.
I had a look at your website, lots of great content. I will spend some time looking through it.
Thanks for taking the time to make contact.

Rintu

]]> By: Michael Cushman http://www.thenlpcompany.com/techniques/building-rapport-%e2%80%93-nlp-essential-skills/#comment-865 Michael Cushman Tue, 24 Jun 2008 20:58:31 +0000 http://www.thenlpcompany.com/techniques/building-rapport-%e2%80%93-nlp-essential-skills/#comment-865 Great! For me, you are the first NLP person to understand matching is limited at developing rapport. I study nonverbal signals, and I have come to the conclusion, based on research, that matching a stranger doesn't work, he or she naturally shifts. Matching is really for friends and lovers. Matching a person of higher status, unless there's strong rapport, is a disaster (it creates hostility). Matching is also following, but to influence, one must lead. It's much more important to take the higher status position and lead as soon as possible. They will match you if you lead and you build rapport. There's much more to say on the topic, but this isn't the place. Thanks for sharing your refreshing views. For me, it gives you significant credibility. Cheers Michael www.engagingchange.com Great!

For me, you are the first NLP person to understand matching is limited at developing rapport.

I study nonverbal signals, and I have come to the conclusion, based on research, that matching a stranger doesn’t work, he or she naturally shifts. Matching is really for friends and lovers. Matching a person of higher status, unless there’s strong rapport, is a disaster (it creates hostility).

Matching is also following, but to influence, one must lead. It’s much more important to take the higher status position and lead as soon as possible. They will match you if you lead and you build rapport.

There’s much more to say on the topic, but this isn’t the place. Thanks for sharing your refreshing views. For me, it gives you significant credibility.

Cheers
Michael
www.engagingchange.com

]]> By: Todd http://www.thenlpcompany.com/techniques/building-rapport-%e2%80%93-nlp-essential-skills/#comment-490 Todd Sat, 24 May 2008 17:34:34 +0000 http://www.thenlpcompany.com/techniques/building-rapport-%e2%80%93-nlp-essential-skills/#comment-490 I find your article very informative and entertaining. There are a great many trainers of NLP who have forgotten one of the Presup's of NLP (that is if you subscribe to Presup's). And that is the Law of Requisite Variety. The person within the system with the most flexibility controls the system. You have shown your great amount of flexibility. I have put together a teleseminar series I think you and your readers would be very interested in. We have gathered some of the greats of both NLP and marketing where we interview them each week on different topics ranging from building a successful practice to how to market your business on-line. We hope to see you on The NLP Summit 2.0 Choose to make it an outstanding day, - Todd http://thenlpsummit.com I find your article very informative and entertaining. There are a great many trainers of NLP who have forgotten one of the Presup’s of NLP (that is if you subscribe to Presup’s). And that is the Law of Requisite Variety. The person within the system with the most flexibility controls the system.

You have shown your great amount of flexibility.

I have put together a teleseminar series I think you and your readers would be very interested in. We have gathered some of the greats of both NLP and marketing where we interview them each week on different topics ranging from building a successful practice to how to market your business on-line.

We hope to see you on The NLP Summit 2.0

Choose to make it an outstanding day,
- Todd
http://thenlpsummit.com

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