Taming the Voice in Your Head with Quality Questions

Rintu BasuTherapyLeave a Comment

If the quality of the questions you ask yourself determine the quality of your life, is it worth working out how you can use this to make dramatic improvements?

Questions are the answers

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Have you noticed that when things go wrong once people have stopped swearing at each other and themselves they tend to ask why questions:

Why does this happen to me?

Why can’t I get it right?

These types of questions tend towards victim mentality, blame and recriminations. The key to good questions in this context are all about reframing the problem into something else…usually a learning event. Here are a couple of examples:

What can I learn from this to get a better result next time?

How can I change this problem to my advantage?

Did you notice how these questions differ in feel and flavour from the first two? These two questions are more about taking responsibility and therefore you have more control over what happens next.

Incidentally we are looking at these questions just as a personal thing but everything here applies just as well when talking with other people as well.

Inductive and Deductive Thinking

Just for the sake of an example let’s just say you have learnt a new skill. Have a look at these two questions and notice the two different directions they send you in:

Now that I can do this what else can I learn to do?

Now that I can do this how else can I apply it?

One question expands your thinking into learning more new skills; the other takes you to doing more things with the skill that you have learnt. So here is a more specific example just to ram the point home a little more:

Now that you understand a little more about how questions work what other linguistic skills can you learn just as easily?

Now that you understand a little more about how questions work where are you going to apply the skill?

Presuppositional Questioning Explained

Okay, I confess, this was just a sneaky way of demonstrating the power and use of presuppositional questioning. And I set you up for it a few days ago. Remember this article here:

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So, here are a few more details on presuppositional questioning. The shortest question that I can think of is “Why?” and saying just that word as a question implies a cause and an effect. So even the smallest, simplest questions presuppose things. If you know that then why not use the idea to direct questions towards the most useful answers?

Scan this article again a couple of times and look at the video to notice how Ali uses her questions to control the direction of the conversation. Now that you know more about the purpose of the article notice the questions and what they do to the direction of your thoughts. Then have a look through again with a question in your head. In fact here are two questions try them both and notice how even these two similar questions create different results:

How can I use this information?

What will I do with this information?

 Persuasion Skills on Steroids Deconstructed

If you enjoy multilevel learning in this way have a look at my most powerful course Persuasion Skills on Steroids Deconstructed. Click through and find out more here.

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