This article is about one way that I create new language patterns and how you can do the same.
Naturally Occurring Patterns
A lot of patterns have come about just through observation. A whole set of very famous patterns called slight of mouth supposedly came about from modelling the language Richard Bandler uses in an argument. From this came sixteen powerful patterns that they have called Sleight of Mouth.
Every now and again an idea or a pattern will pop in to my head and I will just start playing with it to see what happens. As you play with them you get to notice the impact they have and how you can use them until you get to the point where you can instinctively use the pattern without realising that you are doing it. Here is a recent personal example.
Families and How to Survive Them
My mother has recently had a shoulder operation. My parents have needed a little bit of support whilst she recovers. So I have been living with them for a few days to help them out.
I don’t think parents believe that you grow beyond about the age of thirteen. So living in my parents’ house trying to look after them has often been a little fraught. It seems as if we have to discuss everything fully to get to any decision.
This is at its worst with planning meals. Both my parents were great cooks in their time, both are control freaks around the kitchen and neither of them believe I have any cooking skills (I hadn’t when I was thirteen and I think that is how they remember me). The net result is almost every day we have to discuss what to cook, how to cook it and a risk assessment of things like using sharp knives or turning the cooker on unsupervised.
I noticed that for clarity at the end of these long, frustrating and confusing discussions I would summarise what we had decided. What I noticed was that I was using a particularly phrase. At the end of any discussion I would say, “So that’s settled then, what we will do is…”
Pushing the Boundaries
I noticed that both my parents were more compliant at this point of the conversation. Just to see if I could get away with it I started adding things, changing the terms of the agreement and even occasionally putting in the direct opposite of what we had agreed.
Most of the time my parents would just accept my summary. Occasionally they would query what I said and then agree anyway. But in every case I got home my version of the summary.
The Birth of a Pattern
The thought that went through my head is that my parents are anchored to agreeing with whatever comes after the phrase, “So that’s settled then…”
I would love to say that I created that anchor but the reality is I have no idea how it happened. I’ve just noticed it and have found a great way of taking advantage of it. To test my theory I sat them down to discuss what we would eat for the next day.
If we were running true to form this would have been a half hour discussion but instead I started the conversation with my magic phrase, “So that’s settled then tomorrow I will cook… “ To my amazement they both just blindly agreed with my suggestions.
The Real Difficulty with Hypnotic Language Patterns
The hardest thing about hypnotic language is not to burst out laughing when amazing things happen. I have since used this pattern loads of times with my parents and it has worked every time. It seems to work better if there is some discussion beforehand…but it doesn’t seem to matter what we discuss. For example I was talking to my mother about the hospital appointment to have her stitches removed and then used the phrase to tell her what I was cooking for the evening meal. She didn’t bat an eyelid.
At the time of writing I am not in my normal playground so don’t have the opportunity to use this pattern with other people. But I will as soon as I return to Glasgow. Perhaps you could have a go and comment on the results you are getting from it.
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