Rapport Building using Non Verbal Pattern Interrupts

Rintu BasuPersonal Development1 Comment

The following is an email string from a Spanish reader called Jesus. He has this brilliant pattern that nonverbally builds rapport with a stranger when you meet them for the first time. I have a variation of this pattern on Page 61 of The Persuasion Skills Black Book. But Jesus explains this cut down version very well here, especially considering English is not his native language.

Motivation and Information

Jesus also challenges me about the amount and quality of information that I distribute. I have added my answer in because I think it is worth understanding what different people can get from the information I present. I have edited my response to focus only on the relevant, but the emails from Jesus I have left complete and unedited.

Hypnosis in Spanish

Jesus runs a Hypnosis Forum. I don’t speak Spanish so I can’t tell how good this forum is. But if the emails from Jesus below are anything to go by the posts on the forum will be fabulous. If you can read and speak Spanish you will do well to have a look.

NLP Techniques; Pacing, Leading and Pattern Interrupts

From: Jesus

Date: 10 March 2010 22:28

Website: http://www.forodehipnosis.com/

Hi Rintu,

My Name is Jesus, Im from Spain.

I cannot really explain how I was able to come across with your book, but it was the best money spent in JUST ONE book (Persuasion Skills Black Book). Now I’m a bit disapointed because of the money I have wasted in other “non-practical” books, which were said to be practical at first. Your book has taken my full attention.

Yet, Im a bit dissapointed because I can find quite a lot of material which is included in the book (even non included), for free in your blog, but life is life ๐Ÿ™‚ and you can do whatever you want, itยดs all clear.

I’ve been doing some Non-Verbal Pattern Interrupts. A shift in gaze is one of the most powerful techniques I have ever used. I think we should discuss this via Skype, MSN or any chat. It is based on the Pace&Leading principle too..

Anyway, I’m writing to you now because I’ve seen you’re giving away some samples of the Trance Confidence mp3 and I would like to test it, if you think it’s fine. But the question arises… as I speak spanish, will I be able to change my deepest structure with the english language? I can understand english perfectly (I cannot write so perfect), and indeed I’ve already listened to other audios in english (not subliminal).

Well, I’ve got a very bad habit, I start automatic-writing and my unconscious cant stop writing, but I think it’s cool, I’ve got a very fresh stream of thoughts, and everything I’m writing to you here is 100% totally direct and fresh from the unconscious ๐Ÿ™‚

Looking forward to hearing more from you,

Warm Hugs,


Multi-Level Persuasion Skills

On 2010/3/11 I responded to Jesus. Here is my response about the amount of free information I give out.

WRT the information on the site, I am sorry you think like that but let me see if I can’t reframe that for you a little. The reason you are taking this information so easily is because you already have a framework for it through reading the book. I need to give out good quality information for everyone, but one of the main things I am doing is making sure people that have bought the book are fully supported.This means making sure that there is more information coming out all the time. If you have not signed in for the free material from the url in the back of the book make sure you do that. There is information there that will not be given out to anyone unless they have bought the book. Also there are / will be extra bonus material that is exclusive to buyers of the book that is advertised there.

I am also writing many emails on different levels. I expect people that have not read the book to read for content. I hope that readers of the book are looking for examples of patterns and how I use them throughout my writing. I would like to think the people that have been through the big persuasion skills course to read my articles and posts looking for the strategic elements and advanced persuasion techniques that I put in to my articles.

ย Non Verbal Pattern Interrupts

From: Jesus

Sent: 11 March 2010 14:42

Website: http://www.forodehipnosis.com/

Hi Rintu,

Oh My God (OMG). I was very bad minded ๐Ÿ™‚ Im sorry Rintu. Now I understand how I am able to easily understand your posts. I didn’t thought about the framework I’ve gained.

Of course It’s a good idea to get full support for people who bought the book, really Thanks Rintu! I will make the review as soon as possible.

As I can see, your a busy person, so I will tell you my idea of Non Verbal Pacing and Leading via email, so you can read it and answer to me as soon as you read it (I hope so.. so I can hear your thoughts)

The thing works like this. I was reading a book about connecting with people. There was a technique that was making a “special gaze”. Imagine you are in your car driving home and there is a terrible storm. The wind is hitting hard and it’s raining a lot. Then your car suddenly stops, and you must walk down and look for a hotel or somewhere to stay. How would you be looking? It would be a tense looking because of the wind and the rain. This makes a trance like experience in people, but anyways.

When you walk into somebody you dont know, when you start talking to them, they would be tense because they dont know you, and deep inside they will be asking: Who is this guy? That’s a tension state, so we pace that state with the “tense gaze” and we start talking. Then when you want to, you introduce some embedded command into your sentence, and suddenly SHIFT the gaze and relax the whole face, if you include a subtle smile it seems to be more powerful. While the person is confused (because of the pattern interrupt) you have induced the person a positive state because of the positive shift from tense, to relaxation.

I don’t know if I have explained it OK, but I would like that you had the idea. I thought you were the person I should tell this to ๐Ÿ˜›

Sorry for my bad english Rintu, I do what I can do (and even more).

Peace and Love,

Final Thoughts

Jesus has outlined a great process and with a little bit of practice you can put this on autopilot and it will just happen automatically every time you meet someone new. A different approach to this situation that works extremely well in a more formal context, such as interviews, business meetings and negotiations is available on page 61 of The Persuasion Skills Black Book. You can get the book on Amazon in the UK and the USA

One Comment on “Rapport Building using Non Verbal Pattern Interrupts”

  1. leonardo

    i like to make statements during various conversations with a person that paint a picture in thier mind but subtle enuf that they come up with the conclusion you were implying on thier own,after about 3 conversations in which they now have come up with 3 conclusions and all conclusions are related to a main idea you want planted in thier mind.thier subconcious will make the obvious connection between the planted ideas and the “thought or conclusion”they come up with is actually yours but since they believe that the idea was thiers they will defend it til death.granted this is a process taking a little time with an individual,but eventualy can be internalized as a life skill in persuasion

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