We have a lot to cover so let’s just leap boldly straight into the lesson for this week. We are going to cover one of the most powerful trance techniques you will ever discover. You will find that the material we cover today will allow you to dramatically change people’s states easily.
You can think of some obvious times where you might want to change the emotions in another so let me give you the less obvious. All beliefs, decisions and thoughts have an emotional content to them…sometimes large, often so small we don’t necessarily know they are there. But if you follow the idea then the next step that follows is that, if you can change the emotion then you can change the belief, thought or idea.
Reading this and thinking it through will bring you up examples where you have done things based on the emotions of the moment. Ever made decisions when you were happy, sad, angry (insert favourite emotion here) and known it would have been different if you were in a different mood? How about your beliefs about yourself and the world about you, do they change dependant on the mood you are in?
Having read that and thought about it you now know the truth of the matter. And you are already realising how powerful it is to be able to change the mood of the person you are talking to. Is it worth finding out how to do this?
A quick recap of last week before we move into patterns, scripts and questions. Last week the golden nugget was that when you speak to someone they form an internal representation of what it is that you are speaking about. They have to do this to make sense of the sentence.
If I were to say to you, “don’t get excited about the idea”, you have to form an internal representation of getting excited about the idea to make sense of the sentence. So now all I have to do is get you to experience this a little more.
I might make a statement like, “When I get a really good idea I start feeling a little fluttery feeling in my stomach that starts to move up towards my chest as I start to think of all the things that I can do with the new concept…and that is how you know you have got a good idea…”
You might notice in this statement I have given you instructions on how to feel when you have a good idea. And guess what you have to try it on and see if it works, just to understand what I am saying. So now I can start to layer the process into your mind.
Did you also notice that I shifted from “I” statements to a “you” statement. In NLP Jargon terms this is called a shift of referential index. People rarely notice it and you will find a lot of people use it in natural speech…and it is a brilliant way of starting a conversation talking about yourself and ending talking about them without anyone noticing. Consider the following:
“When I first started thinking about language this way I had that fluttering feeling in my stomach, the type you get when you know that there is a brilliant idea just tickling at the back of your mind. And as I thought about it some more, thinking of all those places you can use the idea and how it will make a difference, you can start to feel it moving up through your chest, getting more intense with all the opportunities it opens up for you. Now, I wouldn’t expect you to get this excited about it until you realise how powerful this concept is.”
Let me ask you, are you getting to realise how powerful this concept is yet? Do we need to go through a few examples and scripts to fully realise the power, beauty and elegance of you doing this. But let me not give you that until the end, because there is something else that I want to share that makes this even more powerful, adaptable and fun to use.
If I say to you, “Feel curious now” you have to form the internal representations, but you don’t have to connect with them in any way.
If I say to you, “When I feel curious I have a buzzing in my head and I feel drawn into the subject with a sort of itch that you just can’t scratch, having to find out more.” I am giving you instructions on how to feel curious and you have to try on the internal representations, you might be closer than the first example, but you still do not need to connect.
If I were to ask you, “How do you know when you are feeling immensely curious?”, you have to go inside to find the answers and do the process.
If I were to say to you, “When I feel curious I have a buzzing in my head and I feel drawn into the subject with a sort of itch that you just can’t scratch, having to find out more. How close is that to the way you feel when you are immensely curious?” to answer the question you have to try on both and compare the results. Now I am getting you to access your feelings.
Now you have four ways of accessing a person’s feelings from least to strongest:
Give them the internal representations “You might find this interesting” Give them a process for the feelings “When I get interested it is because you suddenly see all the exciting possibilities and you can imagine all the new ways of thinking and the feeling starts to rise and become more intense” Ask them questions “How do you know when you are getting interested in a subject?” OR
A combination of all three
“I don’t know if you will find this subject interesting. Certainly when I first came upon the concept I suddenly found myself thinking of loads of applications and my interest turned to major excitement as you thought through all the applications, it was like a heat rising up through my chest as I came up with more and more ideas. How do you know when your interest changes to pure excitement?”
The hardest thing about hypnotic and NLP language patterns is not to laugh as you are going through them with people. You will notice the state changes they go through, you will feel strange as you hear them agree with you and see them doing what you want. And you would expect that they would notice…Truth is, sometimes they do and they do it anyway because if you get this right they will feel good about it anyway.
Now are you ready for some examples?
The examples that follow use a lot of the ideas that we have talked about in previous lessons as much as the concepts above. You might want to spend some time reading through these and doing a little bit of analysis. If this is the case, spend a few moments running through the internal representations the subject or audience would have to go through based on this script. But remember that to really do this any justice you have to also focus on nonverbal communication – so there are some cues for that as well [in square brackets].
[Starting real slow and picking up pace to real fast over the first two paragraphs…start sat down and get up part the way through the first two paragraphs – all of this give the impression of more energy and excitement]
I don’t expect you to get really excited about (x). It’s not a particularly engaging subject, but when I was doing the research for this course I came across a couple of ideas that could revolutionise the way we work.
Now that was something I could get excited about, do you have that fluttery feeling inside when you know there is something exciting just about to happen? That was how I felt when I started to think through some of the implications. You suddenly start to think of ideas, possibilities and how much better we can do things and you can get all that from a couple of the ideas we are going to cover this morning.
[Very suddenly back to slow again] But that come a little later, first let me start with an overview of the day…. [This is also an anticipation loop because the trainer does not let them know what, where or when in the morning these bits are coming. We will cover anticipation loops in a future lesson and you will be amazed at how powerfully they can work. Look out for it]
We could ask simple questions to find out about each other, but I am more interested in the passion in peoples lives. You know the sort of thing when you feel the excitement rise and you just have to act on impulse…what things are you really [stress and draw this word out…reeaallly] passionate about?
Same as above only more work relevant e.g.
We could ask simple questions to find out about our roles and companies, but I am more interested in the passion in peoples lives. You know the sort of thing when you rush in to the office feeling the excitement rise because you are going to do something great. What things really [stress and draw this word out…reeaallly] excite you about your job?
I love working for companies where you can get excited about new developments in the company. They don’t have to be part of my role, just knowing the company is growing in new directions is an excitement you can feel getting more intense as I come into work each day. What developments in the company get you really excited? [notice the sequence of internal representations here YOU can get excited as I come into work…this is real sneaky or what?]
I suspect that you sometimes get a feeling when you know you are buying the right thing. I know when I am doing it because I get a good feeling about the person I am talking to, I listen to all the benefits of the product and then I can see myself having fun using it…It’s then you can start to feel very excited about buying the right thing for you. How do you know this is the right product for you? [Big assumptive close here…you could soften the last line by replacing the “do” with “would”. Also a great question because they will either give you the feelings or their convincer strategy that you will need to fill for them to buy.]
Are you starting to get the idea? Read through some of the previous lessons looking for the places where I have used this process, have a look through the techniques section of the website and then have a look through this lesson again as well. You will find the whole thing littered with examples.
One final, but exceptionally important point. If you are installing a state in someone else you have to have rapport with them and you have to start to go in to the state yourself. Think about someone not getting excited when they are talking about something that is exciting and you will notice that it doesn’t fit and couldn’t work. Conversely have you ever noticed that you can get carried away with another’s excitement when they are in full flow? To understand fully how to do this you need to attend a good NLP Practitioner Course.
But the issue is really about how you are going to use it. So, right now, think on the difference between knowing how to use the idea and going out to practice with it. What do you have to say or do so you just run into a couple of situations and practice on those mere mortals out in the world that don’t know the implications of language the way you do?
As you are thinking about that questions and searching for some answers you might suddenly find yourself just writing out a few patterns and checking the internal representations the subject might have to go through.
You might then think of a few questions that accelerated the process and then imagine using those patterns. The issue is not using them but thinking through, in detail, where, when and how. Even in retrospect, reliving situations where you didn’t use the patterns but could have and imagining how you could have had a huge benefit.
I would invite you to notice that the more you become familiar with these patterns the more they just seem to become a natural part of your life and you just naturally speak differently because of it.
Next week we will talk about conversation management, the strategic approach to persuasion and how to accelerate your results.
Now, none of these things seem very exciting, but what if I were to suggest that you can be exceptionally fast at developing your persuasive skills? Would you be more interested?
Would you be more interested if by taking a strategic approach you will, very quickly gain more persuasive power than most successful negotiators?
But I wouldn’t want you to be that interested unless you are thinking about specific situations where you really want a huge amount of explosive persuasive power because next week we are really bringing out the big guns…
Anyway until then find a mere mortal, flap your gums at them until they get excited about life and you realise that you have totally changed in the way you are experiencing language.
Be good
Have fun
Get some results
Rintu
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