Brilliant, Simple and Powerful Persuasion Tools for Conversations

By Rintu Basu NLP Case Studies, NLP Courses, NLP Products, NLP Training 8 Comments 15th December 2011

Over the weekend I spent some time teaching with some phenomenally good hypnotist. Marcus Oakey (Your Charisma Coach) had a great concept about how to set up conversations using preframes that is already paying me dividends and I am just about to share it with you in this article.

Conversation Management, An NLP Technique

Marcus Oakey has some great ideas on how to open a conversation memorably and has deconstructed into a process that anyone can learn easily. I won’t steal his thunder and give you his idea because it is his to put out there. What I will show you is a contrast between two different ways of using preframes and some amazing results you can get from them. Marcus has deconstructed the opening of a memorable conversation and turned it into a process that anyone can drill and learn. Part of that process is preframing the beginning of the conversations and creating tension. His idea is that this emotion spike at the beginning of the conversation is what makes it memorable.

You are not going to like me for saying this but I will leave that there for the moment and look at a different way of using preframes. If you click through this link you will find an article where I accidently prefamed a conversation I was having in a restaurant with a couple of guys I had only just met. The results of the preframe meant I had them buy me a meal and pay for drinks afterwards. The article is all about preframes.

You will hate me for this but…

That was a headline I used for an email yesterday. Here is the rest of the email…

Because I have been in London for the last four days I have not been updating the website and that has caused bit of a problem.

You might already know that I spent the weekend with Nathan Thomas (Keys to the Mind), James Tripp (Hypnosis without Trance) and Marcus Oakey (Your Charisma Coach) delivering the Hypnotic Transformations Live Course.

I am used to this material and seeing good trainers but even I was amazed at some of the content these guys put out there. Don’t worry if you missed it as the whole thing was recorded. Nathan has already started editing it together and as soon as he is done I will let you know how you can get a copy.

I had to hold back a few spaces on the Advanced Persuasion Patterns course because I knew people on the weekend would want to get on the course. So here is the problem, the number of slots available on the Advanced Persuasion Skills course has this morning dropped suddenly to nine. So if you were waiting I would just get on the course right now as the price will be going up quite drastically. Here is the link:

http://www.thenlpcompany.com/advanced-persuasion-skills.php

Cheers

Rintu

I don’t want to creep you out…

But can you already see how easy it is to use preframes to condition your response to what comes next? Back to Marcus’s idea. Depending on what and how you make an opening statement the whole view of the next phrase will be emotionally led. For the purposes of an example imagine that you are going to pay a compliment to your boss about the shoes she is wearing. Try on each of these phrases and notice how they will impact the conversation differently even though the message is the same. The trick is having a great pause between the two parts of the sentence.

You won’t like me for saying this but… I really like your shoes
I really need to tell you this and… I really like your shoes
I don’t want to creep you out or anything but… I really like your shoes
You will want to fire me but I have to tell you… I really like your shoes

“This is all well and good but how can I profit from this?”

Imagine a situation where you have learnt to preframe out any objections and preframe in everything that you want a person to do. For example in coaching and training I get my subjects to take on certain beliefs and behaviours about their learning, development and changing their lives. I do this by setting certain types of preframes.

In sales you could preframe out the typical objections people make.
In negotiation you might frame the conversation to only cover a certain band width of positions.
Performers and Entertainers might preframe their audiences to applaud, laugh or show appreciation on specific cues.
In any conversation you might preframe your status and authority.

If you want to learn more about how to do this start by rereading this article looking for how I am preframing almost constantly and then click through to read about the Advanced Persuasion Patterns course. You will need to book quickly as there are only a few spots left before the price goes up significantly.

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Tags: Case Studies, Hypnosis, Influence

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Robin

Hi Rintu…I am a slow learner and with that being said just wanted to ask you a couple of questions. First of all, in the above examples, setting up a preframe that sounds like it is bad news and then saying a compliment or something that is not even remotely close to bad news, wouldn’t that also be an example of a pattern interrupt?..Kind of like even installing the pattern of supposed bad news then interrupting it with something unrelated? Even as brief as it is? Isn’t that correct?
Second question..or third..lol, I have had the advanced persuasion for beginners course for about a year and am only on lesson 12…it takes time for me to absorb it and I don’t like to move forward until I have a firm understanding of itand this is going to make a lot of sense to you, is there anyway to catagorize these articles you write to correlate with the lessons from the program to give us an even broader spectrum of understanding? I know on some emails you do this, however if it were like that on your website then that in itself would be tremendous benefit for the students and you as well….just a thought..unless you have alreadydid this and It just didn’t click with me. I do enjoy using what I have learned thus far and look forward to more opportunities for persuasion in everyday situations. Your work is great and I do suggest it to others because of the power in it.
Thank you for all your sharing with your knowledge and I appreciate the fact that you are a concerned teacher.
Robin McGinnis

http://www.thenlpcompany.com Rintu Basu

Hi Robin,
Great comment, thanks for writing…it gives me the opportunity to unpack a lot of things. Okay, let me take this in the order you have written in.

“I am a slow learner” is a frame you are putting on your learning. How would you feel if you said you were a comprehensive learner instead? Does not moving on until you have a firm understanding serve you? I ask because often knowing more helps in understanding, so for many people reading around, going forwards and backwards around the current topic is usually useful for most people. I am being a little hesitant because everyone is different so you might already have the best strategy for you, I am just offering options. That said I deliberately loaded the content on this course because I wanted to make sure that there was more than enough for the fastest of learners so it is not unusual for people to take a year or more taking it all in.

You are right about the negative preframes, you could look at the as a pattern interrupt. The key thing I took from Marcus was the idea of setting up the tension and releasing it was what was making a conversation memorable. This written version I am playing with I am not certain of what the effects will be (other than I have already noticed an upswing in activity so people are definitely noticing them more than my normal subject / headlines).

I love the idea of categorising emails and posts to align with the big course. I had not thought of it and I think that is now on the list of things to do. My version thought would be to create another document of notes and links to add to each of the lessons that gets sent out to the students. It is not something I would do publicly because it only has benefit for people on the course. And in honesty organisation is not a strong skill of mine so sometime early next year I am looking for an intern and this would be a great little project for them.

Thanks for the idea though, it will be a great upgrade for everyone… particularly those that have already been through the course to see it from another level.

Cheers

R

Robin

Hi Rintu, thank you for that. Being acomprehensive learner ‘feels’ better and keeps the understanding in tact. I agree with you and I will take your advice on going thorough and come back because from experience I have noticed when I have done this, I listen with ‘a different set of ears’ and pick up something new. I also understand Marcus’ idea of setting up tension and releasing and by doing that making it memorable. I am excited that my idea of catagorizing posts and emails was interesting and look forward to you implementing it because as you are aware, it will create more successful learnings by your students and that means that success will be reflected back to you. I’m sure, by reading the previous statements, you are already noticing that I am learning, whether comprehensively or otherwise and that means your material is great and that makes all of us feel good, doesn’t it? I understand that you are busy with your business and appreciate your response and look forward to even more great content from you in the near future because you see the fruit from it and that means even more success
Thanks again,
Robin

http://www.thenlpcompany.com Rintu Basu

Cool, Glad to help.

http://www.yourcharismacoach.com Marcus

Here’s an amusing one I used earlier this week:

“Look…I know this stands a good chance of ruining your Christmas but…”

Anonymous

Brilliant…I’ve just got into the habit of saying “This is so going to ruin your day…On second thoughts I had best not say.” and then walking away. Even the people that know what I am like are running after me to find out.

Not sure how this will work in written form but I do know the headlines I am currently using are producing lots of responses.

Marcus, you have created a monster in me.

Thanks

Rintu

Boudewijn Lutgerink

In all honesty I hate to say this! I am a honest man and will face the risk of you slapping my face (if not worse) … I do like your choice of words.

http://www.theNLPcompany.com Rintu Basu

My mother would smack my bum for saying….but you really made me laugh.

The NLP Company