Relationships and Persuasion Techniques Part Four
By Rintu Basu
7th October 2011
In the final part of our mini series we will look at some more great examples that Rina sent us in her email. Here is the last and longest of Rina’s scripts.
More NLP Language Patterns in Relationships
Let’s have a look at what works and how it can be made even better:
The issue is not if there’s a mess, but if you can relax, as you walk through
the door seeing loving, happy faces, noticing our good moods and letting
go of your tension, unhappiness, sadness, anger and frustration. As you
get your welcome hugs you begin to relax and experience happy feelings.
You start to realize how lucky your are and you begin to see yourself
satisfied [rather then frustrated, unimportant & don’t matter]. You notice all
the love and joy coming at you and become aware of your own love and
gratitude [I would really like him to replace frustration with gratitude, it’s
obvious how it would benefit him]. Imagine/think [he’s an engineer, think
might be better or perhaps imagining is better, not sure] about how you
would be enjoying your life. Do you realize how happy and powerful you
Here’s what you need to do….. [not sure I actually need to specify, since it’s embedded in experiencing happy, gratitude. Even if I do need to tell him what to do I don’t know what he should do. I really want him to change state, experience different feelings. How do I persuade/condition/hypnotize him to stop worrying, being angry and very particular about how he want things to be? Can I actually change the way he thinks?!]
Rina’s first sentence is using the redefine to get her man to focus on the important issue and is a classic example of the pattern. Notice is you used an agreement frame or a pace and lead at the front you could make this even more suggestible. I won’t go through the explanation of the pace and lead as we did that as part of an earlier part of this mini series on NLP in Relationships but here is how it would look if we added it in:
You are home, upset and we haven’t cleared up yet but the issue is not the mess but how much you can relax seeing our happy faces…
Rina ends the sentence by letting go of the negative stuff. I would swap this round with the grabbing hold of the positive stuff. This is because I want the guy to end on positive internal representations. Therefore the whole statement the way I prefer it would be as follows:
You are home, upset and we haven’t cleared up yet but the issue is not the mess but how much you can relax by letting go of your tension, sadness, and anger as you walk through the door see loving, happy faces and notice our good moods.
Notice again the rule of threes and how the statement is starting to transition into direct embedded commands and this follows through for the next few lines. This is great stuff and a brilliant trance induction.
Using Pitch, Pace and Volume for Conversational Hypnosis
If Rina starts the script with a normal voice, matching her husband and then slows down, lowering her pitch as she goes she will create even greater impact as she goes through her script. On the Persuasion Skills Black Book Master Training Programme you will get audio recordings and exercises to develop your covert hypnotic voice.
Conversational Hypnosis Works Better With Their Words
Towards the end of the first paragraph Rina asks the question whether to use the word Imagine or Think. The short answer is use the word that her husband is most likely to respond to.
Rina ends this paragraph with a good empowering question. My tendency would be to link this to what you want him to do. My version would look a little like this:
Do you realise how happy and powerful you are becoming as you let go of the tension and come sit down and eat dinner with me?
If you do this enough times this will become a positive anchor for him and will definitely change his thinking.
Practicing NLP Language Patterns
Take this the right way, whilst we have discussed many ways of improving on Rina’s work I am really proud of what she has done. It was a great result based on the material she has and I would have been pleased if I had come up with it myself. And things can be improved and it is a great way of learning and developing your skills. I love doing this sort of linguistic analysis because it gives me an opportunity to hone my skills.
On the Master Persuader’s Training Programme you will learn a multitude of different ways to practice and develop your skills. As a thank you for sending me an email that I can get so much value from I am sending her a copy of the master persuader’s training programme.
Tags: Case Studies, Hypnosis, Influence, Language, Persuasion, Persuasion Skills Black Book