On Wednesday in less than thirty minutes I managed to accidentally cause a young woman to become hopelessly infatuated with me to the point where she would not leave me alone.
Here is the story of how that happened and how you can protect yourself from having the same thing happen to you.
If you read my last post you already know I am exceptionally lucky to be going through Kenrick Cleveland’s Dark Side 2 material. Having been through a lot of the material I can confidently say this is easily one of the best persuasion skills courses out there. And whatever you do don’t buy it yet, because I am working with Kenrick to get you a great deal on the programme.
I had been going through the Dark Side audios. Kenrick deliberately switches from content, to installation, to giving you a direct experience of these patterns. There was one section that was packed full of patterns that I wanted to learn and understand consciously. On Wednesday I left the office a little early so I could sit in my favourite coffee shop going through the transcripts that come with the course, listening to the audios at the same time and take notes as I went.
One of my big things is developing what I call fire and forget systems. I work very hard at ingraining skills to a level where I don’t have to consciously focus on them. Think about walking, opening doors or driving. At some point you invested energy in learning these skills so now you don’t have to think about them you just do them automatically and only focus on them under particular circumstances. One of the biggest things I am getting from the Dark Side 2 is an opportunity to practice a whole load of skills in new ways with new distinctions and perspectives.
STOP PRESS
For a limited time the Dark Side 2 shopping cart is open. Here is the link where you can find out and buy the course now.
In The Dark Side 2 Kenrick has a great twist on unconscious hellos, he also spends some time on instantaneous connection patterns and has a great angle on visualisations, energy and nonverbal skills. I’m not going to spoil Kenrick’s thunder by giving you his processes here but you can read about my version of unconscious hellos from a field report I did a couple of years back.
Anyway, as I was sat in the coffee shop studying I became aware of a rather pretty young woman sat at the next table reading a book. You know how sometimes you get that insatiable urge just to play a little to see what happens? Well in the moment I was in my scruffy, dishevelled pot-bellied absent minded professor mode. My thought went “I wonder if I could run a linguistic connection pattern with some of Kenrick’s energy visualisations completely cold without anything else and get this woman to speak with me?”
So I just leaned over and said, “Where have we met!” Note this was not stated as a question and I said it with completely conviction. She looked up and was obviously startled and I just quickly went into a stumbling instantaneous connection pattern that was half remembered from my early days of practicing patterns and half remembered from Kenrick’s Dark Side 2. It was not my finest delivery.
The thing is as I rambled about making connections and thinking that you know someone I managed to take her through my sequence for rapport building and taking covert control of a conversation. This involved taking her through a sequence that she might go through if she were suddenly meeting an old long lost friend. The process is full written up in The Persuasion Skills Black Book on pages 62 through 64
From a strategic perspective I completely disrupted her with a pattern interrupt her thoughts with a huge presuppositional question. She went into trance searching for memories of me because I told her that we knew each other. I spoke to her of emotional connections and then took her through a sequence that she might go through when meeting a long lost friend. I attached all those feelings to me. And all the while I had a bunch of energy visualisations running that, if nothing else, had some impact on my nonverbal behaviour. From my perspective I was just thinking I should have practiced or at least mentally rehearsed before plunging into this.
In about five minutes she had moved onto my table, decided that we were fated to meet and was busily telling me a lot of very personal stuff. This caught me totally unprepared. I’ve been out of the whole hypnoflirting game for years. I am a little rusty and these days quite happy to settle for curling up in bed with Agatha Christie and a good cup of coco. When I was on top of this sort of game and could generate these reactions easily but it would take me considerably more time and effort. It certainly wasn’t going to happen by accident.
After awhile I was starting to get a little uncomfortable with the whole thing. Whilst she was very pretty she really wasn’t my type, it was only supposed to be an exercise in conversations and it had got very deep really quickly. Ultimately I was more interested in getting back to my study. It was here that I made an even bigger mistake.
Like I said I am a little rusty at this game so I hadn’t thought through the implications of what I was doing. I sharply withdrew my attention from her and told her I needed to go back to my studies. Imagine how you would feel if you have just spent five or ten minutes with someone that you have an incredible connection with and they suddenly withdrew it. I mean cut it off completely. Most people would be desperate to re-establish that connection, particularly if it was withdrawn very suddenly. I had run a scarcity pattern on her that means she is more hooked than ever.
The next thing I know she is demanding my attention and I look up to speak to her. That’s when all my normal rapport processes, the one that just automatically happen because I have trained myself to be that way just kick in. The net result is that she has even deeper rapport with me than we had originally started with. Not only that but I have now accidentally but very strongly fixed myself in the position of a rapport leader.
Kenrick explains this in more detail as a fractionating rapport pattern. In simple terms it is like your body gets familiar with reoccurring states. Each time you go back to a particular state you get there faster and deeper. As you think this through you know it is true. Consider when you make a new friend. The next time you meet them you don’t have to go through the initial stages again, you just leap in where you left off. The net result is you automatically feel like you know them better. Do that a few times and they start to feel like you have known them forever.
You can fractionate rapport with someone very quickly and apparently completely by accident. All of a sudden she was suggesting that we return to her place immediately. I had to spend most of the evening getting her to a better and more balanced perspective of me.
If you spend forty minutes or so searching though my articles you will find articles explaining the patterns I talk about. If you want to develop some of these patterns so they are completely automatic then the Advanced Persuasion Patterns programme is a good investment for you. If you want to take some of this material and complete raise the bar on what is achievable you need to look at Kenrick Cleveland’s Dark Side 2, but not just yet because next week I may have a deal for you.
For a limited time the Dark Side 2 shopping cart is open. Here is the link where you can find out and buy the course now.
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Tags: Case Studies, Persuasion