Over the weekend I spent some time teaching with some phenomenally good hypnotist. Marcus Oakey (Your Charisma Coach) had a great concept about how to set up conversations using preframes that is already paying me dividends and I am just about to share it with you in this article.
Conversation Management, An NLP Technique
Marcus Oakey has some great ideas on how to open a conversation memorably and has deconstructed into a process that anyone can learn easily. I won’t steal his thunder and give you his idea because it is his to put out there. What I will show you is a contrast between two different ways of using preframes and some amazing results you can get from them. Marcus has deconstructed the opening of a memorable conversation and turned it into a process that anyone can drill and learn. Part of that process is preframing the beginning of the conversations and creating tension. His idea is that this emotion spike at the beginning of the conversation is what makes it memorable.
You are not going to like me for saying this but I will leave that there for the moment and look at a different way of using preframes. If you click through this link you will find an article where I accidently prefamed a conversation I was having in a restaurant with a couple of guys I had only just met. The results of the preframe meant I had them buy me a meal and pay for drinks afterwards. The article is all about preframes.
You will hate me for this but…
That was a headline I used for an email yesterday. Here is the rest of the email…
Because I have been in London for the last four days I have not been updating the website and that has caused bit of a problem.
You might already know that I spent the weekend with Nathan Thomas (Keys to the Mind), James Tripp (Hypnosis without Trance) and Marcus Oakey (Your Charisma Coach) delivering the Hypnotic Transformations Live Course.
I am used to this material and seeing good trainers but even I was amazed at some of the content these guys put out there. Don’t worry if you missed it as the whole thing was recorded. Nathan has already started editing it together and as soon as he is done I will let you know how you can get a copy.
I had to hold back a few spaces on the Advanced Persuasion Patterns course because I knew people on the weekend would want to get on the course. So here is the problem, the number of slots available on the Advanced Persuasion Skills course has this morning dropped suddenly to nine. So if you were waiting I would just get on the course right now as the price will be going up quite drastically. Here is the link:
I don’t want to creep you out…
But can you already see how easy it is to use preframes to condition your response to what comes next? Back to Marcus’s idea. Depending on what and how you make an opening statement the whole view of the next phrase will be emotionally led. For the purposes of an example imagine that you are going to pay a compliment to your boss about the shoes she is wearing. Try on each of these phrases and notice how they will impact the conversation differently even though the message is the same. The trick is having a great pause between the two parts of the sentence.
- You won’t like me for saying this but… I really like your shoes
- I really need to tell you this and… I really like your shoes
- I don’t want to creep you out or anything but… I really like your shoes
- You will want to fire me but I have to tell you… I really like your shoes
“This is all well and good but how can I profit from this?”
Imagine a situation where you have learnt to preframe out any objections and preframe in everything that you want a person to do. For example in coaching and training I get my subjects to take on certain beliefs and behaviours about their learning, development and changing their lives. I do this by setting certain types of preframes.
- In sales you could preframe out the typical objections people make.
- In negotiation you might frame the conversation to only cover a certain band width of positions.
- Performers and Entertainers might preframe their audiences to applaud, laugh or show appreciation on specific cues.
- In any conversation you might preframe your status and authority.
If you want to learn more about how to do this start by rereading this article looking for how I am preframing almost constantly and then click through to read about the Advanced Persuasion Patterns course. You will need to book quickly as there are only a few spots left before the price goes up significantly.