Usually not having rapport means you will not get the result you are looking for with people. Unfortunately having rapport also does not guarantee results.
Building Rapport is a Gateway not a Result
Several times in my careers I have seen people get into serious problems by focusing on rapport instead of…well let me talk about solutions once I have outlined the problem.
Being Mates Does Not Mean You Get Results
Building rapport with your group is essential for a trainer so you would think. Working as a training manager I had to spend a lot of time developing baby trainers who were building rapport to the exclusion of getting the group to their training objectives. The group might have had a lot of fun but the company, the group and the trainer were not being served if they didn’t get to the training outcomes.
Again if you manage a team having good rapport with them is an important prerequisite. But what happens if the rapport you develop with your team is the same as you have with your friends and family. Do you have the same level of authority and judgement with your friends and family as you would need with a work focused team. When working in leadership development I have spent a lot of time developing junior managers to have rapport but also carry authority and leadership with their teams.
I have met some incredibly poor sales people that have excellent levels of rapport. Here is the problem they face with too much rapport. Rapport is a two edge sword. When you have it you are entering the world of your prospect and seeing things through their eyes. The net result is you are in danger of taking on their problems, views and beliefs. This might mean that their objections become real to you and you are not facilitating them to the benefits they would gain from your products and services.
Defining the Problem
In all the situations above there are two parts to the solution. The first is to recognise there is more to rapport than a simple NLP matching and mirroring thing. There are many different types of rapport and they all have different types of applications. Being able to build rapport in different ways is a prerequisite for a skilled hypnotic persuader.
The second thing to notice is that rapport is part of the process you are using to get to a particular result. Just having rapport is not enough. For example the trainer needs to use rapport to build a group focused on getting to their training objectives. The manager needs to build rapport in an authoritative way so he can lead the group to their stated outcomes. And the sale professional needs to create enough rapport to empathise with the prospect and then lead them to better solutions using new products and services.
Developing the Process
Take a look at the Advanced Persuasion Patterns course here. This course has a complete process where rapport is fundamental but is only part of the process. The process starts long before the conversation and takes you through everything from defining the conversations you want to have, developing the confidence to break the ice with someone and then going all the way through to getting your results.
The Advanced Persuasion Patterns programme is the most comprehensive covert persuasion skills course on the internet. It gives you the mindset, strategies and technqiues to dramatically get people to do what you want and thank you for the privilege. Find out more here.