Changing Your Subject’s View on Reality

This article is covertly about how changing the frame can give people a completely different perspective, and as a result you get huge leverage in persuading them. Overtly it is just an email exchange from a customer asking a couple of questions. As you read the article though think about situations where changing the frames would make a difference for you.

From: John

Sent: 04 August 14:18

To: Rintu 

Subject: A “Redefine” Question and Job Stuff

Hi Rintu

With “The issue isn’t X it’s Y and that means…”, what happens if the person disagrees and says, “No, the issue actually is X?” How do you respond?

I have just signed up for your Job Hunting System. This is great because in the start of the New Year, I am changing jobs. Please let me know if the course covers or if you have previous data on how to deal with the following job interview topics: returning to an industry you have been out of for years, and having had many jobs. Also with regards to returning to the previous industry, how do you structure your resume? I was thinking of having a Relevant Experience section before a Current Experience section even though the usual latest-to-last job history would be offset.

Thanks for your time and assistance.

Best regards,

John

From: Rintu 

To: John

Sent: Monday, August 5, 5:52 AM

Subject: RE: A “Redefine” Question and Job Stuff

Hi John,

How about, “I agree you think it is about x and the issue isn’t just what you think at the moment. It is what you will think once you have the full picture so let’s put it aside for the moment whilst I give you the important elements. Then once you have the whole context we can come back to your point and you can see how much you have changed your view.”

This is really bold and I wouldn’t necessarily be that bold unless I had lots of rapport and thought I could make good on the promise. But hopefully you can start playing and tweaking for softer versions.

Obviously there are loads more tools that you can use. One of my favourites, if you have got to presupositional questioning yet would be, “How would you know if the issue was something completely different to (x)?” The answer to that question then gives you the criteria to fulfil for them to let go of their issue.

The job interview material does deal with difficult questions, not having the relevant experience (read that as not having recent experience), and returning or changing career paths.

One way of handling the experience issue is doing what you suggest. Another might be compressing the recent material and expanding the relevant. But this depends on getting the relevant material on the front page.

My favoured approach is to find a way of framing the recent experience as relevant to the role you are going for. For example you qualified as an engineer, want to go in to engineering but have spent the last five years as a shop assistant. In this case I would be looking at what edge could five years of being a shop assistant give me as an engineer that most engineers wouldn’t have. I might argue that dealing with customers makes me a great and detailed listener, so I would be good at customer liaison and taking specs / briefs. I might also suggest that if I can handle customers then I am good at motivating people I have no direct authority with…as such I might be great at project management. And so on.

Hope that helps.

Cheers

From: John

Sent: 05 August 13:22

To: Rintu

Subject: Re: A “Redefine” Question and Job Stuff

Good day, Rintu,

Yes, that first paragraph is bold…and I love it! It could be tweaked (and I will work on that), and I would also consider the first one could be said with a soft voice and a smile. My mother used to say “An iron fist, inside a velvet glove.” I also LOVE the presupositional option.

I will read the relevant experience/path changing section.

In reading about your engineer and shop assistant example, it helped me with my situation. I am a doorman who wants to return to sales. I could say something like “Sharpened my communication and negotiation skills in dealing with a diverse set of people.” THANKS, RINTU!

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