Tops Ways to Destroy Your Self Esteem

Rintu BasuPersonal Development8 Comments

The last few articles and videos have been about altering your perceptions of the world. This article is about why you should and how you can change your perceptions on a moment by moment basis. We even go as far as discussing how you can do this with other people as well.

 We create our own reality

Demonstrating and showing the implications of this can be earth shattering but sometimes it is not easy to explain why. I invite you to watch this video. Whilst the video is obviously a fictional device to get a point across I think it is an active demonstration of how easy it is to alter anyone’s perceptions. Have a look and then we can develop the theme a little.

The hero of the video alters his opinion and then his reaction to everyone because of the new information he gets from wearing the glasses. A real world equivalent to this is to say you see the world through your own filters. Based on your experiences, beliefs and ideas you encode meaning onto the events, things and people that you see on a moment by moment basis.

For example I have trained presenters that started off having a fear of public speaking. They almost all started with a belief that the audience would hate them, they didn’t have anything of value to say and a whole lot of similar nonsense. If I “knew” that the audience would hate me I also wouldn’t get up to speak. Luckily I “know” that my audience think I am great and they think I have good stuff to say. Actually I don’t “know” either, but given that I don’t and can’t know why not assume the best?

How to Cripple any Chance of Development and Progress

Imagine you had a pair of glasses like the ones in the video but with one difference. Whenever you looked at other people these glasses told you something negative that the person you are looking at might think about you. How long do you think it will be before you are so emotionally damaged that you could barely interact with anyone?

The sad thing is that many people do exactly this. Perhaps not to the extremes that I am explaining but have you ever stopped yourself from doing something because of what someone else might think? I suspect you will find that this happens more often than we like to admit. This is quite sad because the solutions are simple.

What happens if you were to wear the glasses but this time all they show are positive reactions, nice and even great things people will think of you for what you are about to do. The reality is neither the negative or the positive thoughts are guaranteed and the likely hood is that you probably will never find out either way. So how would it be if you just assumed the best regardless?

On the Advanced Persuasion Patterns Course I will show you techniques to develop your confidence and self-esteem in line with these ideas. Take this the right way we can and will discuss exercises where you can quickly enter a trance state and change your thought processes but I think there are even better ways of creating these changes both for yourself and for the people you interact with.

Again you should be made aware that this is not a personal development course even if this is one of the by-products of the programme. The course is about operating on other people’s filters. If we go back to the metaphor from the video; the Advanced Persuasion Patterns course is about learning the skills to hand out the glasses.

In the video the black guy hands out a particular set of frames that allows the hero to see what other people are going through. The frames you will get from the course will allow you to draw out and use people’s emotions. Other frames you will get from the course will allow you to see and change their beliefs in just the same way that you will learn to do this for yourself.

As we move into the New Year how great would it be if you could help other people to let go of disempowering beliefs and pick up beliefs that motivate, empower and drive people forward to get results that they want. But even better than that you could do the same for yourself? To find out more about the Advanced Persuasion Patterns Programme click through right here:




8 Comments on “Tops Ways to Destroy Your Self Esteem”

    1. Rintu Basu

      I completely agree with you Pete and this is my exact point. An event is just an event you are encoding the meaning on to it.Once you know that you are creating this distortion you can start working your way free of opinions…even your own.

  1. Stuart

    Hi Rintu & thanks for so many special presents to unwrap over Christmastime.
    Here’s a real World example of a perception changer for you: just around the corner from me is a house which would out-do Santa’s Grotto at Harrods. The front garden has fake snow, with reindeer grazing. There’s a Bethlehem stable with proud parents, the baby Jesus and the three Kings. A sleigh rides high up the side of the house and there are all sorts of star lights, fairy lights, icicle lights and so on.
    There’s a traffic jam every night as people stop to stare. My partner had a lot of negative things to say about the ‘over the top, traffic nuisance, electricity wasting show-offs’ until I pointed out to her that there’s a wishing well in the front garden, with a note inviting passers by to make a donation in favour of Winston’s Wish. Winston’s Wish is a local charity which helps bereaved children.
    Now she’s only got positive things to say when we pass the house where the charity suppporters live.
    Best to you.

    1. Rintu Basu

      Thanks Stuart,
                              That is a really great example of the sort of thing we are talking about. It is amazing how much our opinions can change so quickly with just one little piece of extra information. And where my thoughts are if we do this naturally we can learn to do this for ourselves when we need it and do it with others.

      Thanks again for the example.



      1. Judepw

        Thanks Rintu, another inspiring piece! After my NLP practitioner course and also reading your Black Book I love using these sort of skills to empower myself and others… just this morning a friend was complaining about her housemate and how messy she is, always leaving the house dirty and untidy. She will soon be moving out into her own place but the friendship is suffering meanwhile, so I gently suggested that perhaps her housemate just doesn’t think about tidiness as much because she has other things on her mind; its just not her “reality”… and what a fantastic learning experience it is in my friends reality because she may well appreciate her own place (and the tidiness) a lot lot more as a result – so it’s actually a great gift that her friend is giving her. I’m pleased to say her colour warmed and the smile returned and I hope her feelings towards her housemate will be a little more relaxed as a result 🙂

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