In this article we are going to address negative emotions and limiting beliefs as well as how you can use your learning hypnotic language to blow out these issues. The previous article looked at the difference between learning, practice and performance. Then we explored ways of practising language patterns. You can read it here: Quick Wins to Learn Hypnotic Language
Remember to Practice
One common point that I get asked about is the thing about not remembering to use the patterns in a conversation. I hope the last article addressed that well enough. You practice your patterns deliberately so that when you are in a “normal” conversation they occur as part of your normal language. You only practice your patterns when the only outcome is practising your patterns.
If ou were learning a musical instrument you don’t practice in front of an audience that are there to listen to music.
The best way to get the pattern in the muscle memory is to have conversations that you start just to practice your pattern. If that is the only point of the conversation for you then you are hardly likely to forget to use the pattern.
The Only Fear is Fear Itself
When I suggest this to people I often get excuses as to why they can’t do this. It is normally the fear of looking foolish, being found out or what will people think. These are all legitimate fears that people have and you don’t need to hold on to them. So let’s look at ways for you to let them go.
Have you ever stumbled over your words, forgotten what you were about to say or said something stupid? This is a natural part of life. The fact that you knew you were learning things and that is what makes you stumble is a great thing. It is you stepping out of your comfort zone.
The Only Way to Succeed is to Fail Yor Way to the Top
For you to learn, grow and develop you have to step outside of what you already know and do. You can’t learn to walk without falling over…a lot. So the first thing you could recognise is when you do stumble you are actually doing something great, you are having a go and you are learning.
Now that you recognise that you are going to fall a lot as you learn perhaps a good idea might be to mitigate some of the implications. Perhaps you have already noticed the strategy I gave you in the last article already does that. Starting in slow speed conversations, practising with safe people, using the language in situations where the outcome is not important, all of this is about mitigating the risks involved.
One other tactic I use a lot is what I call an “out”. The idea is I have prepared ad libs for when I stumble over my words, get found out or do something stupid. I say things like:
- Sorry, I’m just breaking in a new set of teeth. I got these ones from a camel
- I’m a hypnotist, you only imagined I said that
- Let’s pretend I said something clever then and move on
- And that is an example of something a complete idiot would say. I would never say anything as stupid as that. What I would say…continue with what you intended to say.
If someone says something like “Are you using hypnotic language patterns on me?” or something in the I’ve been found out category, I usually say something like:
- You might think that but the only reality is the one in your head so it is your fault
- Yes, I am really glad you’ve put your clothes back on though
- Yes, but only because you started it
- Yes, aren’t you?
- No are you?
It often sounds like I am quick witted or clever but the reality is there is nothing better than a well-rehearsed ad lib. I have hundreds of these and they are all very well practised. I admit I have never done this, but you could deliberately stumble over your words just so you can practice your outs.
Develop Behavioural Flexibility
Now we have found time to practise, minimised the risks and found ways of dealing with the situation if people query what is going on. But sometimes even all this is not enough. If you still can’t imagine yourself practising your patterns in a live environment I have an exercise for you.
In fact, even if you are really good at doing patterns this exercise is good for you. If you have never done this have a go. Keep doing it until you are comfortable in this situation. Go into a bookshop and order a curry. No laughing or joking, no telling people that it is an exercise or that you are practising. Just go into a bookshop and order a curry.
Or you could go into an Indian takeaway and order a new suit. Or a car dealership and see if they will sell you cinema tickets. Just go into different types of shops and order inappropriate things. Keep doing this until you are comfortable being outside your comfort zone, having people look at you as if you are a little crazy and are happy doing things a little outside the norm.
Then, once you are ready go back to practising your patterns. It should be a doddle after this.
The One With the Most Flexibility Controls the Situation
The exercise is obviously designed to get you to be able to work outside the norms of your regular behaviour. It is a very cool skill to have because the person that has the most flexibility of behaviour eventually dictates the balance of play. It means that in any given conversation you have a range of options that are not always available to everyone.
And if the thought of doing this exercise is enough to put you off doing this exercise then here is a different exercise to try. This is a perceptual positions exercise designed to knock out the beliefs and emotions that are stopping you creating, learning and practising hypnotic language.
A Variation on Perceptual Positions
Imagine watching a TV talking heads show. On the left of the screen there is a version someone not quite unlike the current version of you. They are raising the objections and excuses as to why they should not do whichever level of these exercises that you are objecting to doing.
On the right is a future version of someone not quite unlike a future version of yourself. The version that has overcome the objections has successfully completed the exercise and is having fun moving on to bigger, better and even more productive things. Watch them use their language patterns and persuasive skills to deal with the objections and move the other person on.
At any time, you like you can hit the pause button and advise the future version in what to say to convince the objecting version to get on with the exercise. If you get a brilliant piece of insight that will completely blow out the objections hit pause and let the future version know so they can tell the older version. And make sure the future version is using all those language patterns that you are learning.
Use Hypnotic Language to Learn Hypnotic Language
This works for so many reasons and is a great exercise to do. You can find more of this sort of approach to learning and getting rid of your limiting beliefs, negative emotions in Persuasion Skills on Steroids Deconstructed.
This is true for learning any skill. The reality is that you need to let go of the limiting beliefs and negative emotions that stop you from practising effectively. This exercise will help you learn any skill. But it is particularly good for learning for hypnotic language Skills because you are using hypnotic language to learn hypnotic language.
The most effective course for you to learn hypnotic language skills from is Persuasion Skills on Steroids Deconstructed. But don’t just take my word for it, click through here and read through the FAQ to find out why: