This article is about some key distinctions about rapport, a powerful rapport building programme and a unique time limited deal for you to be able to get it.
Developing Strong Rapport Building Skills
If you look over the internet you will find lots written about rapport ranging from the overly simplistic NLP match and mirror model through to some clever techniques that actually work.
There are several misconceptions about rapport and the one that probably hinders people the most is thinking about rapport as a thing instead of considering it as a process.
Imagine being in a negotiation with another person. As you reach points of agreement your rapport will go up as you find points where you are in disagreement the rapport will go down.
The key to rapport is in being genuinely interested in the other person and then responding to them from that perspective. Whilst this sounds easy there is a lot to this. The main distinction is that it is not just about being interested in what they are saying. Being interested in the content of the conversation will bring you a level of rapport, being interested in the person will take you to a different and far more powerful level.
Sensory Acuity, Rapport Foundation Skills
Try this with the next conversation that you have. Imagine what it would be like to be the person you are talking to. What would it feel like to stand or move the way that they do, wear the clothes that they are wearing, what do they have to believe to be saying the things that they are saying,? Let go of any preconceptions, judgements or thoughts of your own and start experiencing things through the eyes of the other person.
When you have a go at this you will probably notice several things. Depending on how successful you are you may notice that you get a much deeper level of rapport. If you have not tried this sort of thing before you may notice that it is quite difficult to do because you are doing at least four things all at once, listening to what is being said, formulating your response, noticing things about the other person and imagining what it is like to experience the things that you are noticing. And you are doing all of this whilst letting go of your own preconceptions and judgements about the person, the conversation and the situation.
We naturally do deep rapport. Think about a time when you were with someone you are really close to having a fun time. As you think of that situation with me just notice how much of a connection you feel. At deep levels of rapport it is like your sense of self is merged with the other person and you are thinking as one.
There are times when you really don’t want to have too much rapport. As a coach, therapist or counsellor you would normally want extremely good rapport with your client. But consider a client that is deeply distressed, mentally unbalanced or so trapped in negative belief systems that they can’t see a way to improve. If you were experiencing your client’s world too strongly you would not be able to help them. Ideally you would want enough rapport to have some empathy but stay outside enough to help them through.
The same is true in sales. I have met many sales professionals that build up so much rapport with a prospect that they automatically believe the objections that a prospect comes up with. Often the key to sales is educating a prospect about the benefits of a new way of thinking.
You already recognise that you can do deep rapport, there are times when you have no rapport at all and in any conversation the level of rapport changes on a moment by moment basis. The trick is to be able to control this and select how much rapport you want in any given situation.
Learning Rapport the Easy Way
You might have started to recognise why I am not keen on a simple NLP Rapport model of just matching and mirroring nor just learning a bunch of simple tricks that just work on a superficial level. True rapport will only develop when you have a genuine interest in the person, are willing to experience the world through their perspective and respond to them based on that.
I have for a long time been thinking of designing a programme that you can use to train yourself to be able to do rapport in this manner. There are several key criteria I would use for the programme.
The approach would broadly be similar to The Persuasion Skills Black Book, i.e. quick wins and a simple formula to start that builds in complexity and power through straight forward and simple exercises. As you may know lots of little bits of practice are much more effective, so no more than ten minutes session would be my way forward.
John Vincent has been thinking along the same lines and has beaten me to creating the programme. He has kindly given me access to his programme to see what I thought. What he has created is utterly brilliant and very close to the way I would have liked to have done it.
The Rapport Master Programme sends you a video every week day that is less than five minutes long. Each video focuses on an idea, tool or technique about rapport and gives you an exercise or something to spot or focus on during conversations for that day.
Going through the programme I noticed, despite being good at rapport my skills levels improved dramatically. This is because on a daily basis I was focusing on and practicing with just one rapport tool. Doing this I discovered new ways of using those tools, some key distinction and have done some very focused practicing all of which has dramatically improved my overall rapport skills. I am starting to notice more and am finding new ways of stepping into the other person’s shoes.
Rapport Master Time Limited Special Offer
I was so impressed with John Vincent’s Rapport Master Programme that I negotiated a special deal for you. John has very generously agreed to give you a $1 trial for the first week and a reduction of $20 a month from the normal price. John needs to launch the programme fully so he is only holding this exclusive prelaunch special for us until the evening of Sunday 11th July. Here is the link to find out more about Rapport Master and book on the programme.