Six years ago I listened to a programme that had a deep and very profound impact on me. It was a course called the Dark Side by Kenrick Cleveland. Below is an extremely powerful covert belief destroying pattern that I use in training that is based on one of Kenrick’s Dark Side Patterns.
Walking the Dark Side
The other night I was completely blown away. If you don’t know Kenrick Cleveland then you need to find out about him. He is the persuader’s persuader, a master in his field of influence and persuasion and a very important influence on a lot of what I do. When you look through his website you will notice a lot of the influences he has had on me. Find out about him at MAXpersuasion.com
I am extremely privileged to have Kenrick offering a bonus for the Sales Persuasion Mastery launch that is happening on the 30th March. One of the bonuses he is offering is an exclusive telecall where he explains in detail a Dark Side Pattern you can use to completely destroy beliefs.
I was so excited about the call that I wanted to release bits for you, sadly that is not useful because without the whole call you would not be able to understand how to use the pattern this very powerful pattern. Luckily you can get the whole of the call for free on March 30th as part of the launch promotion. So watch out for that. In the mean time here is how I adapted the pattern for use with training groups.
Belief Destroying in Training
In training I often want to destroy old patterns of behaviour, beliefs and unhelpful self images so we can replace them with something more useful. I will give you a few other applications at the end but consider the impact on your training course if delegates come in with ideas like:
- I’m too (old, young, stupid…insert your favourites) to learn this
- The subject is not useful for me
- It’s too difficult, will take too long, I can’t do it, I don’t want to do it
I am sure you can think of a whole lot more. Imagine you could remove these in a few short steps and then replace them with things like:
I am a great learner, will pick this up and use it to great benefit
Again I suspect you can think of a hundred and one different beliefs that would be more useful for them to have. Here is a way to do this.
NLP Techniques, Stage and Spatial Anchors
There are many ways of creating these anchors but the clearest way of explaining how this works is to use stage anchors so I will restrict myself to that. I recently wrote a blog and video demo where you can find out more about NLP Anchoring.
For more details on how this works, the theory behind it and many different ways of applying this you will need to listen to the bonus Kenrick has created for us. That is available on 30th March. But for the moment here is a pattern you can use with groups or can modify for use with individuals.
The pattern relies on creating two places. The first is a place where you keep the beliefs that used to be true but no longer are. For example when you were nine years old you would have believed you were nine years old. It was a belief that was true then but no longer is.
The second place you want to create is a place where you hold beliefs that are absolutely true for you. Beliefs that are so completely true that they are unshakable. For example, I believe that I need to breathe to live. No amount of argument, debate or NLP Techniques are ever going to shake that belief from me.
Once the two spots have been created I tend to imply a line between the two. I do this so I can move whatever belief is being talked about by the group gradually from one place to the other. For example if they come up with unhelpful and limiting beliefs I start moving them to the used to be true spot. If they are talking about things that would be useful I start moving them towards the completely true spot. This may sound bizarre but here is how to do it.
Setting up the Stage Anchors
I used to set up the used to be true spot first. To do this I would stand at the spot and talk about a belief that used to be true. To disguise what I am doing I would wrap it in a metaphor about learning. I might have said something like, “In the past when you didn’t drive you might have said to yourself, “I am not a driver” and that would have been true then. As you say that to yourself notice how that feels, RIGHT HERE (make sure they really notice where I am standing as well as the embedded commands). It might feel a little strange because that belief is no longer true.”
I then move towards where I want the absolutely true spot to be and say something like, “And as you were getting older and getting closer to becoming a driver, or while you were going through your driving lessons you might be saying to yourself “I am not a driver yet,”
Then reaching the absolutely true spot I might say something like, “And then at some point after you have been driving for a while you suddenly find yourself here, at a point where you realise; I am a driver. It is as completely true as gravity, or needing air to breathe. Think about it, right here, right now, you know you are a driver. A complete belief which feels different from that spot (obviously pointing to it) where you keep old beliefs that used to be true.”
As an additional exercise read the previous paragraph and block out the embedded commands for yourself.
Some points to note, in either spot use beliefs and preferably identity statements (I am …insert belief). Get them to associate feelings to the two spots and this will work even more powerfully.
Repetition, the Mother of Installation
If I have the time I will run through the process several times. Here is another I might follow the above with.
“This driving thing is like a lot of learning, remember back in school when your teacher first showed you multiplication and you thought you couldn’t do that. And after stumbling through a few sums eventually you thought to yourself I can do multiplying.”
Obviously this is very cut down and you will have to stand in the right spots for each bit, but this should give you the idea and let you come up with ideas of your own.
Okay, My Stage is Set, Now How Do I Use It?
Here are three different ways that I use this.
Destroying a limiting self image
I might set the stage anchors talking about learning in general and then quickly move on to building an unhelpful self image that I think some of the group have and move it into the used to be true spot. Then start talking about the benefits of thinking of themselves differently whilst moving slowly to the absolutely true spot and build the new, useful self image there. From the absolutely true spot we would look back at the used to be true spot and poke fun at the imaginary people that are there. A typical example would be retraining customer service people to cross and up sell products.
Answering Questions Based on Beliefs
Often delegates may come up with objections that are based on their beliefs. A typical one might be a, “I can’t do this because…(fill in your favourite excuse)” I might answer this by acknowledging their feelings from the used to be true spot. I would then add in something like, “…and that is because you have not yet tried the (exercise, application, practicing, using etc). As you have a go at this (moving towards the absolutely true spot) you will find the more you do the more you find yourself using this easily (standing in the absolute true spot) until suddenly you realise you can do this easily.” I would then generally roll straight into getting the person raising the objection to say or do something that reaffirms the new way of thinking like answering a simple question based on the new thinking.
Comparing and Contrasting Old and New Patterns of Behaviour
When I have trained people in a change of procedure, such as management training when the appraisal system has changed I will talk about the old way of doing things from the used to be true spot and the new way from the absolutely true spot.
How Do I Use This If I Don’t Train?
Kenrick is giving away a huge Dark Side Bonus for my launch. In his audio recording he goes into great depth on how to set up this sort of process with an individual, for yourself, tonally and if you are on a telephone call. He then shows you how you can blow out beliefs. For example putting sales objections into a used to be true spot, or a coach / therapist / parent / teacher getting their client to let go of a negative self image.
Remember, these are Dark Side Patterns so they are dangerous and can be used maliciously, Kenrick is also releasing information on how a client of his had Dark Side Patterns used on him maliciously and the impact it had on him.
This is all available for free on the 30th March to coincide with The Sales Persuasion Mastery launch campaign. So look out for the instruction on how you can get your copy on the day.