This article will give you a specific process for destroying and installing new beliefs. Below you will see how I used this pattern on a friend of mine to help her with some issues in her life but the pattern has a lot of great uses.
The Power of Hypnotic Language Patterns – The Belief Destroyer
For example would the ability to deal with any of these be useful for you:
As a sales person – destroying objections
As a trainer – blowing out negative self-images and installing positive beliefs for a group
As a manager – installing an empowering team identity
As a teacher – getting your students to let go of fear of failure
In fact I suspect you can probably think of 101 different ways of being able to use the ability to take away beliefs and install new ones. Have a look at the Dark Side pattern the Belief Destroyer and then come back here for a real world example of adapting the process for the situation that I had.
Last week I wrote about an interaction with a very dear friend of mine and how I used a Dark Side Pattern to help her create a solution for herself. She phoned over the weekend to update me and I got an opportunity to use the belief change patterns. You can read the previous article here.
The issue for my friend is, without getting into any details, none of the options she has are good, some are just better than others. Whilst she has done the best thing for her she is not feeling particularly good about it or herself for getting into the situation. I knew she would phone me at some point to let me know how she is getting on and I know her well enough to know how she would be feeling. I had planned to use the conversation to see if I could make her feel better about herself. The call came on Saturday evening. Here is what happened.
Preframes – A Little Known Concept that Makes all other Persuasion Techniques Work
As you will have noticed from my previous article my friend doesn’t appreciate being “NLPed on.” For that reason I had planned to preframe this whole part of the conversation with her. So after we had been flapping gums at each other for a few minutes I asked her if she would be willing to help me out with some new ideas that I am working on.
I told her I was working on a whole covert belief change process. I told her that is was a really powerful overt process and I wanted to see if I could do a covert version. Before I could just try it out covertly on someone I need to make sure my language worked. I also told her that we needed to work with something live and real for her so I can get feedback on how well the process works covertly. She agreed with all of this.
As you can see I have just closed of any opportunity for her to object or find me out. Also she has suddenly become more motivated because she is now doing this as a personal favour to me.
Preframes are really powerful because you can inoculate your audience against anything that you don’t want them to think or do. For example something I say at the beginning of a training course might be, “The information you will get today is really powerful, but you can’t know that until you have pulled it apart, examined it and put it back together in a way that makes sense for you. So feel free to not accept anything I say on face value, I want you to examine, challenge and debate everything I say until you can put it back together and make it yours.”
Just notice that what I am really giving my audience is a process for taking my ideas and turning them into their ideas. I am also suggesting that these ideas are really powerful and that my audience have not found that out yet. If you want to know how you can use this powerful device in lots of different ways then looking at Kenrick Cleveland’s Dark Side 2 is a great place to start. You can read my review here.
Setting Up Locations on the Phone
This article assumes that you are familiar with the base concepts around the belief destroyer pattern. If you are not then download and listen to a copy here. Being on the phone I can’t see my friend’s eyes or be able to point at locations. So I need to set up two locations, a “used to be and no longer is true” location and a “completely true for you” location. This is how I did it.
As my friend was speaking about life in general I just broke in and said something like, “That’s true, some things in life we just take for granted, like breathing, blinking and walking. We just know we are going to do these things naturally and normally. I mean when was the last time you thought to yourself that was a good blink…I bet I never blink like that again. I think what really happens is your belief is so strong and so certain that you don’t even think about blinking, you just have a belief sat in the back of your head that just knows that you are going to continue blinking in this great and practiced manner. But leave that in the back of your head because we were talking about…”
Read the last paragraph a couple of times and search for all the things I elicit and install. The biggest and most important for this process is an anchor at the back of her head where she is not keeping certainty. The truly brilliant thing is that she didn’t pick up on it even though the preframes meant she was looking out for things.
A little later in the conversation I started talking about age. I said something like, “When you were 18 you believed a lot of things about your world. You were full of teenage angst, all piss and vinegar with that naivety and over simplicity of youth. And now you have grown older, wiser and believing those things about being 18 are no longer true; but they still live somewhere in your heart.”
The Value of Preframes
This one she did pick up on but luckily my preframes meant she played along and offered me the feedback that she knew this was part of the technique and most people would not catch it. Notice with this one I am using negative references and have installed the no longer true location as her heart. The important distinction here is that it has to be a belief that she held but is no longer true. When she was 18 she believed she was 18 but no it is no longer true. This seemed an easy one to build a pattern around.
Please note the two patterns appear like a monologue for clarity. They were actually a little longer and much more interactive, a whole conversation with my friend speaking almost as much as I. I picked the two locations and the two beliefs only based on how easily I can get them into the conversation. I also used my tonality to anchor the two locations. I also broke sharply into the conversation with these monologues and as soon as I had them anchored changed the subject back to the original hoping to create some amnesia. This worked perfectly for the first and didn’t work at all for the second.
Blowing out Beliefs
Now that I had the two locations set up and anchored whenever my friend brought up anything that it was worth blowing out I would just ask her how she felt about it in her heart. I would then immediately switch to something that would be more empowering and I would suggest to her that she had a little voice in the back of her head telling her that it was really true. Over the space of an hour there was an incredible change in how my friend was feeling.
The Pay Off
Whilst I love the idea of being able to have conversations with people with them walking away feeling better about life I think you should also have practical business benefits to these patterns. Imagine what happens if you set this up with the people that you interact with. Every time your prospect objects you can ask them what they feel in their hearts about it. Or when a student of yours tells you how they wish they were you can point to some of their obvious success and tell them about a little voice in their head that is telling them about the certainty of their path.
When you really understand these patterns at this level it is easy to create your own. Let’s face it I don’t want you to take this on board because it is mine. I want you to take in on board because you can see how easily you can adapt this to your language, context and situations. But if you really want to get good at this stuff you need to look at the Dark Side 2 from Kenrick Cleveland. Luckily the cart is still open until the end of Friday so head over there now, have a look at the great offer and decide if this is right for you.