This article contains a powerful and adversarial NLP language pattern that had a massive impact on my life when it was used on me. I offer if now as a great pattern to use and also in response to some very judgemental, hateful emails I have received over the last couple of days.
Here is a point before we get right into the guts of this incredibly powerful pattern. Just because someone nasty turns up it doesn’t mean you can’t learn from them and move on, does it? And the nature of doing that means you can let go of the bad feeling and get something positive from the experience. And that approach has the advantage that it is likely to wind them up as well.
I am not and will not take on the mantle of being the NLP Thought Police. A few people in the personal development community dislike my approach to NLP and Hypnosis. They consider it manipulative. The thing is I agree with them, and not just because it winds them up.
I think all communications is manipulative. If nothing else, when you talk to someone don’t you want to manipulate them into understanding your point of view?
The issue isn’t manipulation but intent. If I am trying to move you towards something that is anything less than a win / win situation then I think that is a problem.
If I am trying to move you towards something that is anything less than a win / win situation then I think that is a problem. Much like when people are trying to close your conversation down because they think their values and opinions trump yours. And as a result, you have to abide by their rules. But just because they are trying to do this sort of stuff we the positive end is that it gives us the opportunity to learn how to deal with it, doesn’t it?
But just because they are trying to do this sort of thing the positive end is that it gives us the opportunity to learn how to deal with it, doesn’t it?
The NLP Thought Police
I was sent a couple of vitriolic messages based on an email I sent out yesterday. It was about where I really started properly learning hypnotic language. Most of the responses I got were positive. But I did get a couple of people letting me know in the strongest terms that they have their knickers in a twist and want to force their views on me.
But then I thought to myself, “Just because a couple of people are letting you know that they don’t like you doesn’t mean you can’t find a way of using the experience to teach some powerful conceptual patterns, does it?”
And that is likely to have the effect of providing you with some great learning material and is calculated to wind up them up.
The NLP Thought Police have this idea that I (and others) shouldn’t teach material that conflicts with their ideas of how this stuff should be used. They would rather impose their views on you rather than let you decide what you want to learn and how you choose to use it. But just because they are shouting and screaming doesn’t mean we have to pay any more attention that is necessary to learn from them and move on.
That is what the essence of this pattern is about. Let me tell you about the time when I consciously noticed this pattern and the impact it had on me.
Should I Stay or Should I Go
Many years ago I was wibbling about going on a course. I won’t mention the trainer or the course because they are very well known in the personal development industry, and I am not going to speak well of them
This trainer is very good at what he does, he has a unique course that you can’t get anywhere else and I desperately wanted to learn about it. The trouble was that I consider the man to be one of the biggest arses on the planet. I had met him a couple of times before and done a couple of short courses with him and bought some of his products.
I had enough to know how good he was but it was also enough to know I disliked him intensely. The idea of giving him money, spending time in his presence and acknowledging that I had things to learn from made me feel sick.
So to cut a long story to shreds while I was wibbling about going on the course a friend of mine sat me down and said, “Just because the man is a complete arse doesn’t’ mean he doesn’t have things to teach you, does it?”
My friend continued by letting me know that not only would I be learning the material on the course but I would also be learning how to learn from people and situations that I don’t like and that is probably as valuable as the course itself.
As you can guess I signed up for the course. I learnt a huge amount from it. I still think the man is an arse but I got to find out about his material and I am significantly better off than if I hadn’t done the course. All of it came from the application of an NLP language pattern that got me thinking.
An NLP language pattern
You will have already noticed me applying it a few times in this article already, if you haven’t already spotted it then have a scan back through because I am just going to deal with the general form of the pattern here.
Just because (x) doesn’t mean (y) does it?
Just because the pattern is so simple doesn’t mean that it isn’t really effective, does it?
What this pattern is doing is disconnecting false connections and challenging the recipient about it. In my example I had, outside my conscious awareness decided that I couldn’t learn from someone that I disliked. My friend, using this pattern brought the whole thing into the open and challenged me about it.
A Question about the Question
The question at the end is optional. It is usually a powerful way of setting a new direction but in some circumstances you may not want to use it. Also, note that you are deliberately stacking the pattern with double negatives. That makes it hard to work out how to answer and you are also stacking the internal representations in the direction that you want them to go in. If you don’t know what internal representations are then they are full written up in the Persuasion Skills Black Book or you can search for articles about them here on the website)
The final thing you need to tack on to the end of this pattern is to follow through with the benefits. In my example my friend started taking me through all the things I would get by going on the course.
Here are a few more examples:
Sales: Just because it’s expensive doesn’t mean it isn’t good value for money does it? If you got a great return of investment surely it is money well spent isn’t it?
Flirting: Just because you don’t find me attractive doesn’t mean we shouldn’t go out on a date does it? Imagine us going out having a great time connecting on a level that transcends just superficial looks.
Teaching: Just because you failed the test doesn’t mean you can’t ace the exam does it? Surely this is just a signal for the things you need to revise and that will make you better equipped for the exam.
Motivation: Just because you are scared doesn’t mean this isn’t the right thing to do does it? The fear is about letting you know the value of doing this and in that sense is just preparing you for the way ahead.
So these couple of Moral Majority gave themselves a wedgie because they disliked the fact that I learn a lot about hypnotic language from Ross Jeffries. You can click here to read my original email.
It is about how I learned about hypnotic language and the debt I owe Ross about that.
And on that note, you can find out a lot more about Ross on his Speed Seduction website. But before you pop across and read more about Speed Seduction you should recognise this his site is probably not safe for work. But just because it is NSWF doesn’t mean you can’t learn a huge amount about hypnotic language from him just as I did. Just reading through some of what he does and then transcribe them for any situation you can think of will boost your hypnotic language skills right out of the park.
Here is the link to click and find out more about him
And finally a couple of things to tidy up
No, Ross isn’t the trainer I was referring to in my article. If you read my original emaill you will discover that while I don’t know Ross that well I have been through a lot of his material and I have a huge amount of respect for him.
And Ross is in London running a course over the 30th and 31st July. It is short notice, and most of the places have gone. But if you can make it then he is worth seeing. And if you can’t make it click through and check out his online courses.
And in the interest of full disclosure just because Ross has given me an affiliate deal to promote his material doesn’t mean that I don’t fully support him. His material made a significant difference to my approach to hypnotic language and it would do the same for you.