Here is a comment and example from Marcus on the first lesson from The Persuasion Skills Black Book that have a few interesting points worth bringing out.
Persuasion Skills Example
Enjoyed reading lesson 1.
I don’t believe it should all be one way, though, so here’s my example:
A more powerful way of using the extreme one-move use of the procedure is to make an implicit suggestion. I have actually seen the extreme example you gave, in action. I met an old friend in a shop where he was looking at tvs.
He prides himself on being able to spend more than anyone else. He asked me about the technical merits of plasma versus LCD tvs, and I suggested plasmas were sharper but they had a shorter life expectancy, but, of course they were outrageously more expensive, especially in the larger sizes. I could see the moment when his thinking shifted from the technical facts, to the cost.
He left the shop with the biggest plasma tv they had, and made sure I knew it was their most expensive tv. I think that was an example of implying the issue wasn’t the technicalities, but the cost. It probably helped that I knew his triggers and his likely response…
and he’s still a friend.Thanks for Lesson 1.
Thanks for the comment Marcus, and I agree with you. The more we can get people commenting their thoughts, observations and results, the more we can learn from each other. Hence putting up these pages on the website.
For all the rest of you out there in virtual land, feel free to post comments on this post or any of the chapters in The Persuasion Skills Black Book. I will put the most interesting up on the site.
If you want to explore the book further you can find it on Amazon in paperback and kindle.
Hypnotic and NLP Influence from the Inside
You have hit upon one of the most important areas of persuasion skills. Knowing the person from the inside is far more important than any technique. The reason the extreme one move option works and worked so well for you in this case is the fact that you knew your friend’s drivers and triggers.
I blatantly use the lesson one not (x) but (y) type pattern to roll a conversation to a benefit statement before the subject has time to realise what has happened.
If I have missed with the benefit statement they will want to come back to the original point e.g. “Actually the point is (x) not (y) so let’s finish talking about that first…”
Perceptual Positions, an NLP Technique
Hence, it is really essential to know what are good benefit statements for the situation and that specific subject. One good way of doing this is perceptual positions exercises.
There is a full-bodied influencing script version of this in The Advanced Persuasion Patterns course.
NLP Rapport Building
In simple terms it is all to do with rapport. If you think of the people you have deep rapport with normally, you already know their likes, dislikes, what they would feel about certain issues etc. Well there are ways of spotting this sort of thing with most people. When you get good at this then you increase your chances of catching the values and drivers of individuals easily.
Another easy way of getting to people’s values and drivers is simply to ask them. The right questions uncover all sorts of values and drivers from people.
From here you just show your subject how they can get more of the benefits they want by moving in the direction you want. A generic form of the pattern from lesson one might be “The issue is not (x) but fulfilling your deepest desires, let me show you how you can do that…”
Often, if the driver is strong enough you don’t have to throw out the pattern, just suggest a benefit, just as Marcus has done here. You can find more on these simple, yet powerful persuasion techniques in The Persuasion Skills Black Book.